Build Date: Wed Oct 8 23:30:20 2025 UTC
Expensive tequila means you just pay more for your evil.
-- Johnnie Royale
All Browsers SUCK ASS; Film at 11
1999-06-20 12:43:42
Ever try to make a commercial Web site? Then you know what kind of a royal PAIN IN THE ASS it is. You spend 20% of your time doing the real meat of the site, and 80% doing stupid BULLSHIT with JavaScript and frames and tables and this-doesn't-look-quite-right in Fuckhead Navisplorer four-dot-my-dot-ass. I HATE that!
The most gruesome part is that there's all these goddamned STANDARDS for this kind of stuff. Like HTML 4.0, CSS 1 and 2, XML, and ECMAScript (the standardization of JavaScript/JScript -- yeah, I know it sounds like a skin disease, but it's a programming language). There are TEST SUITES and REFERENCE IMPLEMENTATIONS up the ass -- and yet, none of the three major browsers comes even CLOSE to working well with these technologies. GAR GAR GAR!!
It's a FUCKING STRUGGLE to use the Web. I HATE it. It's BULLSHIT. But maybe, just maybe, groups like Web Standards can put the HURTING on the browser vendors to conform to the goddamned standards.
WebStandards.org is an advocacy group. They've got a real simple baseline request to browser makers: support the above-mentioned standards. That's it. It's not HARD to DO. The CODE is out there! Man, what's such a fucking big deal about this?
Sure, there are other things you can do to get these standards well-recognized. Contributing code to Mozilla would be good. Writing clever, angry commentary in Webzines helps, kinda. But really, giving the vendors a clear message is the best way.
Because it's not supposed to be this hard -- it's really not.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It was New Year's Eve and I wanted a signature drink I could hand to my guests. Something that they would accept with no fuss, drink quickly, and then want another. A drink simple enough that I could explain the recipe quickly -- thereby annointing each new guest as a bartender capable of making the drink -- and freeing me to enjoy myself. So I created The MAN-tini... (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)