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Hey Mister, Bad News for DOS Fans
2000-02-08 11:29:23


Laughable Technology
 
Your persona is the crime, and your life appears to be the punishment.
-- Lionheart

 

So DOS is like this TOTALLY CRAZY operating system, made by MICROSOFT of all people, and WHOA, apparently it was once the dominant OS on like ALMOST ALL COMPUTERS ANYWHERE! How did I miss out on DOS?

DOS was this OS for really BAD PEOPLE. For instance, it could only use 640K of high memory TOTAL, so all programs had to be written to slip under that limit. So NATURALLY people came up with all sorts of bizarro programs to get around that limit. Unfortunately, they all SUCKED. So people would use DOS and TEAR THEIR HAIR OUT because it was so LAME!

CRAZY! Also, DOS came with all these little programs, sort of like how Linux comes with tons of programs, but these weren't USEFUL programs that HUMANS could use: INSTEAD, they were just these programs that let you do things like VIEW A DIRECTORY! DOS was so lame that it couldn't do ANYTHING by itself.

I can't believe I overlooked DOS! The even INSANER part is that it was developed by BILL GATES! BILL GATES! Do you hear me?!? And all these clods in Redmond worked AROUND THE CLOCK, seven days a WEEK to produce new versions of DOS! But it never got any better!

Someone get me a GLASS OF WATER! I think I'm PASSING OUT!

DOS! CRAZY! WOW! Check out the DOS and be down with the DOS CREW! Yo!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

hapsburg@pigdog.org


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