Build Date: Fri Nov 7 02:30:09 2025 UTC
Extropians don't have souls, so no moonbase for you.
-- Johnnie Royale
I Represent All of Christendom
1999-12-14 19:53:08
FINALLY! The Catholic Church has recognized my leadership in the ecumenical world by granting me license to represent them on-line! My fabulous new catholic.org email address proves it!
It's surpisingly EASY to get a catholic.org email address. I would normally not deserve one, considering that I have practically zero experience with Catholicism. My closest tie is my abnormal fascination with the machinations of the world-controlling Society of Jesus and its shadowy army of black-robed ninjas, so maybe that's why they threw this accolade my way. I am more than a little proud that mister_bad@catholic.org has such a euphonious ring to it.
Are you up for the challenge? If you pass the goats-vs.-sheep, wheat-vs.-chaff test of the coolio registration Web form that they have on the site, YOU TOO could be qualified to represent the Catholic Church in worldly matters! Become a power-broker for the world's largest non-governmental organization! Wear pointy hats and remarkably complex and inscrutable vestments! Speak authoritatively on transubstantiation and Albigensianism! Issue your own papal bulls! Persecute heretics on- and off-line! Excommunicate your enemies at WILL!
Rock on! Catholic dot org! Check it out!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
