Build Date: Fri Jul 4 16:00:14 2025 UTC
Bill Gates is such an idiot he had initials burned into my ass.
-- rotten elf
Jerry Springer Sanitized!
1999-05-26 05:23:46
There has always been a purity to the Jerry Springer show. Over the years, it has become nastier, and increasingly brutal, and it has come to represent the ultimate distillation of trash talk show television. A classic for all time! It was just too good to last. Now, the show has been castrated--right at the end of sweeps week...
The gossip talk show format may be evil, but the Jerry Springer show was the purest, most innovative example of the genre. And it had the highest ratings...
Unlike Sally, Montel, and Maury, who are stuck with the old formula, i.e., destroying people's lives on TV while pretending to help them, and unlike Oprah and Jenny who only do "nice" shows anymore with makeovers and cooking tips, Jerry has pushed the core aspects of the format -- sensational sex gossip, confrontation, violent outbreaks, weeping, public shame and humiliation -- to their limits. The Jerry Springer show is much more honest, more raw. Lately, even Jerry's signature moralizing at the end of the show has turned into little more than a commentary on who the guests were and why they were fighting, in case you couldn't figure it out based on who was stomping who.
In the last couple of years, the show has become a vicious fighting arena for hillbillies, degenerates, and freaks stupid enough to appear. The audience is little more than an angry, hopped up mob who would gladly stone the guests to death, or pelt them with rocks and garbage if they were given the opportunity. This year Springer has added a new twist: the guests have been physically attacking the audience and vice versa. Genius!
But all of this innovation and purity comes at a price. Jerry has been the focal point of the critics' and politicians' attacks on the whole gossip talk show format. And now USA Networks is running scared. Against the protests of local affiliate stations everywhere, they have been showing reruns of ancient Springer shows that have no punch. And worse, they promise to cut the heart out of the show, turning it into some kind of milquetoast, sissy Oprah shit.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)