Build Date: Fri Jun 13 08:32:07 2025 UTC
It's not Gonzo journalism until you're eating rubber tires to
the tune of "Flight of the Bumblebees."
-- Miles Standish
Jerry Springer Sanitized!
1999-05-26 05:23:46
There has always been a purity to the Jerry Springer show. Over the years, it has become nastier, and increasingly brutal, and it has come to represent the ultimate distillation of trash talk show television. A classic for all time! It was just too good to last. Now, the show has been castrated--right at the end of sweeps week...
The gossip talk show format may be evil, but the Jerry Springer show was the purest, most innovative example of the genre. And it had the highest ratings...
Unlike Sally, Montel, and Maury, who are stuck with the old formula, i.e., destroying people's lives on TV while pretending to help them, and unlike Oprah and Jenny who only do "nice" shows anymore with makeovers and cooking tips, Jerry has pushed the core aspects of the format -- sensational sex gossip, confrontation, violent outbreaks, weeping, public shame and humiliation -- to their limits. The Jerry Springer show is much more honest, more raw. Lately, even Jerry's signature moralizing at the end of the show has turned into little more than a commentary on who the guests were and why they were fighting, in case you couldn't figure it out based on who was stomping who.
In the last couple of years, the show has become a vicious fighting arena for hillbillies, degenerates, and freaks stupid enough to appear. The audience is little more than an angry, hopped up mob who would gladly stone the guests to death, or pelt them with rocks and garbage if they were given the opportunity. This year Springer has added a new twist: the guests have been physically attacking the audience and vice versa. Genius!
But all of this innovation and purity comes at a price. Jerry has been the focal point of the critics' and politicians' attacks on the whole gossip talk show format. And now USA Networks is running scared. Against the protests of local affiliate stations everywhere, they have been showing reruns of ancient Springer shows that have no punch. And worse, they promise to cut the heart out of the show, turning it into some kind of milquetoast, sissy Oprah shit.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)