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You know, these beers are only the beginning...
-- El Snatcher

Darwin award missed by THAT much...

by Lenny Tuberose

2006-09-06 12:15:08

Stupid fuck extraordinaire, Steve Irwin, has fucked with his last wild animal. An asshole even by Australian standards, Irwin fucked around with the wrong stingray and took a poisoned barb directly in the heart.

Irwin's lasting contribution to conservation ranks with that of the roadrunner.

Just as even the most implacable hater of coyotes couldn't help but root for the coyote to prevail, even the most hardened herpetophobe watching Irwin torment yet another hapless victim found himself hoping that just this once the crocodile or cobra would get a piece of the ex-wanker, eliciting the croak of a mercifully final death-crikey.

Irwin's lasting contribution to science is a tentative answer to the age-old question "just precisely how stupid is too stupid to live?"

Experts contend that at the end of every episode, the failure of this menace to wildlife to pay the ultimate price for his reckless stupidity produced a clearly audible sigh from Darwin's ghost. Sadly, his lamentable genetic legacy was passed on to progeny before his stupidity caught up with him. So, for those keeping score, that's Irwin 0;Stingray 1; Darwin's score disallowed on a technicality.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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