Build Date: Mon Aug 11 14:34:24 2025 UTC
A cow is about as close to a plant as you can get for a mammal.
-- Master Squid
The Stuff I Am Bringing to Burning Man '99
1999-08-22 00:12:05
First time out it's a list; so what? Just read the thing.
I've been busy overpreparing for Burning Man. Here's all the dumb crap I have accumulated so far that goes into the big dumb "Smuggler" pullman suitcase that then goes into the big dumb Frontier Airlines plane next week:
- (1) Labcoat, white, Spock Mountain Research Labs logo, nametag: "Tjames".
- (1) Labcoat, white, no logo.
- (4) T-shirts bought at Target off the clearance rack (good stuff! no logos!).
- (3) Pairs of various short pants. I say "short pants" because it's funny and I like it.
- (1) Pair chinos. See above for why I say "chinos".
- (4) Pair plaid boxer shorts! Yay!
- (5) Pairs of socks.
- (1) Barn coat type of deal in case it ever gets cold.
- (1) Pair Utility (Target!) brand pseudo-steeltoe boots. These cost me $8.
- (1) Pair white deck shoes.
- (1) Pair Utility brand rubber sandals.
- (1) Pair pajama shoes for the leisure stylee.
- (1) Pair yeller tinted sunglasses.
- (1) Pair clip-on dark sunglasses that go over my reg'lar glasses so's I can see.
- (1) Pair safety goggles.
- (1) Fisherman's hat.
- (1) Dome tent, it's about 7' wide.
- (1) Rain poncho.
- (1) Utility flashlight.
- (16) AA batteries.
- (8) C batteries.
- (1) Portable CD player.
- (12) Various music CDs.
- (1) Tape to give to Mr. Bad of Fallmusic.
- (1) "Little Snatcher" Action Figure!
- (1) Meerschaum (corncob) pipe.
- (1) Pouch of cheap tobacco for pipe.
- (1) Personal fan, Holmes Air brand.
- (10) Disposable vinyl gloves, white, surgical type.
- (1) 6' x 8' faux fishin' net.
- (1) Campin' coffee mug.
- (1) Desert canteen.
- (2) Tubes of lip balm with sunblock in them.
- (1) Star Track Personal Communicator.
- (2) Sets personal battery powered Xmas lights.
- (2) Battery powered candles.
- (1) Millenium Laser Light Show Yo-Yo.
- (2) Cartons Natural American Spirit Cigarettes.
- (1) Empty candy tin for where to put the ashes of those things.
- (1) Bottle of Ibuprofen.
- (1) Bottle of Metabolift.
- (1) Bottle of trucker speed.
- (1) Bottle of Super B Complex vitamins to fight hangovers.
- (1) Zippo lighter.
- (4) Rolls of Kodak Gold 200 film.
- (1) Camera.
- (2) Tubes of Tom's Toothpaste, trial size.
- (1) Trial-size bottle of Aussie Mega Shampoo.
- (1) Battery-powered shaver.
- (1) Super Jesus Power Crucifix Penknife.
- (1) Coleman Camping Tool/Fake Leatherman
- (1) Apron for Snatcher to wear while cookin' up eats.
Well, I'm probably forgetting some stuff. But this is what
I've got so far.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
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All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
