Build Date: Sat May 23 00:20:09 2026 UTC
What a fucking night. No more tequila. Ever.
-- Paul
Quantum Deep-Fried Electrodiddle If I Ever Saw It
2002-04-22 20:22:15
So I saw this news article titled "Hydrogel-Based Nanoparticles Make Photonic Crystals." And I have no real idea what any of those words mean, but I think I really like them.
I mean, "Hydrogel." I think that's probably what Spockette from "Star Trek: Enterprise" likes to rub all over her naked breasties in the decontamination chamber. It seems to make them stand up real nice. Hydrogel. Just the sound of it is sexy. It's a super lube of the utopian future! It lets you have double-fisted anal sex at hyper speeds with maximum thrust!
And "nanoparticles" is nice too, of course. Not sexy, but funny; kind of Mork-ish. I mean, just play with it a little. Nanoparticulate. Nanoparticulariffic! I want a nanoparticle-board for my office.
It does trouble me a little that both of those words seem kind of redundant. I mean, "hydro" is just a water kind of thing, right, and so is gel, so I don't see why Hydrogel is all that special, except for the part about anal sex. And "nano" is just, like, small; and you would expect particles to be small anyway. But I've learned not to argue with Science, especially when it has two fists up my ass.
So now we're at the Photonic Crystals, which I actually have heard of before, but crystals are groovy, man. Quartz crystals are for psychic powers, and dilithium crystals are for warp engines, and photonic crystals are for a blazing fast Internet that will make all our heads explode just like on Max Headroom. So those are all good things.
The rest of the article is fun too. We are assured that: "The soft and conformable spherical particles could be the basis for a 'photonic fluid' that would be custom processed to form self-assembled periodic structures." I don't understand that, but it makes me feel safe and cared for, like a baby or a pet. I think it's the words "soft" and "conformable." They kind of make me think of Teletubbies. Being fisted.
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
