Jerkcity comix

     
 

High School Confidential
2002-01-24 13:30:15


Drive-In Pigdog
 
I no longer have a soul, having bartered it long ago for dashing good looks and a handful of super-powers.
-- Lenny Tuberose

 

Heroin! Pot! And Jerry Lee Lewis! This campy 50s movie turns your VCR into a drive-in....

Five minutes into High School Confidential bad Tony is smoking a reefer in the principal's office. Back in class, he's hitting on his teacher. Why not, he's 22... She returns him to the principal, who confiscates Tony's knife.

At home Tony's horny incestuous aunt puts the moves on him. But he's only interested in that blond good girl who's jonesing bad for a stick of marijuana. Real bad; the last girl in this town who smoked marijuana became a shivering heroin junkie sold into prostitution.

There's an insane drag race, plus lots of hipster slang like "Daddy-O." But what Tony really wants is to score several kilograms of heroin to become the town's dope peddling king. Woe to naive parents who ignored the police commissioner's warnings....

It's more fun to root for the hopped-up beatnik teen, of course. In real life, David Lynch even hired the actor -- 35 years later -- to be on Twin Peaks. The drug dealer's henchman, meanwhile, in real life spawned messed-up Drew Barrymore. And the drug dealer himself? Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.

Somewhere in the mix is Michael Landon and Charlie Chaplin's son -- but most espeically Jerry Lee Lewis, who serenades the townfolk from the back of a flat-bed pickup, pounding on a piano as they drive through the city.

Where is this town?

Because I want to be a turned-on daddy-o too....

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

runcible@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Ted Nelson's Junk Mail
by Baron Earl

Slap Kirk!
by Baron Earl

The End of the World
by Baron Earl

Pork Cake recipe discovered at the Internet Archive
by Baron Earl

01-17

Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders

01-11

Baron Earl

CES claims dildo is not a robot

01-11

Baron Earl

Rep. Steve King wonders how the phrase "white supremacist" became "offensive"

09-29

El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

More Quickies...