Build Date: Fri Jan 9 00:10:17 2026 UTC
i'm sorry for using quasi-real names and being gory.
-- Sylvia
The Parkway Theater Rox Like Sox in a Box!
2000-08-07 23:42:45
Last week I made my first pilgrimage to the Parkway Theater in Oakland, California to see American Pimp. I think I have found Movie Theater Nirvana!
The Parkway Theater isn't your average movie theater. It's way above average. So far above average in fact that the line that marks "average" is a tiny speck so far below you wouldn't know what it was unless someone told you.
First off, The Parkway Theater has Will "The Thrill" and Tiki Goddess. Will was out greeting people in front of the theater when we showed up, wearing a tuxedo I rejected as being too tacky when I went to my Senior Prom way back when. (I dressed in a baby blue tux with matching pants and shoes, a white frilled shirt, and a blue bow tie.) Will was decked out in something similar, only with a lot more pink accents and more frills. I didn't see Tiki Goddess, but I've heard rumors.
Once you're in the Parkway head for the snack bar and order a couple of pitchers of beer and a pizza. (The Pigdog crack beverage research team ordered eight pitchers of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and one large pepperoni pizza.) You heard me correctly, the Parkway serves beer, on tap, in glass pitchers with glass pint glasses. They also cook up a great pepperoni pizza, which their staff delivers to your seat while you're watching the movie.
I bet right now you're thinking "That sounds great! But how do you eat a pizza when you're sitting in a movie theater? Where do you set a pitcher of beer down while you're squeezing down the aisle, squirming past people already seated?"
You don't. The Parkway is FAR too civilized to make you put up with such nonsense. The Parkway has ripped out most of the rows of seats you'd find in an average theater and replaced them with couches and upholstered chairs. They also have cocktail tables placed near the couches so you'll have a place to set that pitcher of beer, your glasses, and the pizza when it arrives.
So you can now sit back with your friends, have a few pints of beer, watch a GREAT movie like American Pimp, eat pizza, and leave feeling that the world is a better place.
The Parkway shows classic movies, documentaries, and new releases. This month they've been showing High Fidelity, Me, Myself, and Irene, Shaft (the new one), Chicken Run, Grass, and It Happened One Night. I'm going to go again. Soon.
(You can find current information on all of the Parkway Theater's shows at http://www.picturepubpizza.com/.)

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)