Build Date: Sun Mar 15 11:10:10 2026 UTC
Don't ever accuse me of been sensible. EVER.
-- Johnnie Royale
Webzine99 going on NOW!
1999-07-24 12:25:57
Hey, check out the crazy action at Webzine99! Home away from home for Pigdog Journal and dozens of other Webzines for one day only!
Well, sure, I've been hyping this crazy Webzine99 thinger for a few weeks now. I think it's the cat's meow. And right NOW we are at the Webzine99 ground zero of fun! Can you believe it?
OK, well, actually that's a lie. I'm actually sitting at my computer at home, getting READY to go to Webzine99. I should have got ready last night, but instead I went to Albany and got REAL DRUNK on call cocktails at Club Mallard with Zacho, Special Ed, and Wendy. I was supposed to be working on stuff for Webzine99 with Splicer, but instead I was drinking delicious martinis with Bombay Sapphire! Beaujolais!
As a brief aside, I highly recommend getting the Bombay Sapphire if you're feeling all fancy and want to start getting call drinks. See, if you call vodka, like say Ketel One, they don't pour you a whole lot of it because they gotta save some for all the other fancy people who call Ketel One. So they just give you a little blip of vodka: BLIP. But if you call GIN, you'll get LOTS of gin, because NOBODY LIKES GIN. So they don't care about conserving the gin, and, hell, they kinda want to get it out from behind the bar because it smells terrible, so they just go BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP dumping gin in your martini glass! Splashing it everywhere, even dumping it erotically on the scantily dressed cocktail waitresses! They are generous to a fault with GIN! So get that!
So anyways, I got real drunk on gin and then went over to Powerful P A U L's house at like 1AM. P A U L has a life-size cutout of Spock that we NEEDED for the Webzine99 thing, so we went and liberated Spock. P A U L was still up, because he was moving to his new house and shit, so we came in. The GREAT part was that he and his bad wife Distressa have a huge liquor cabinet that they didn't want to pack for their move. So we mixed lots of Drambuie with pickle juice from the nearly empty fridge, and drank that, and got really bad drunk, and I didn't get home till 4AM, and that's why I'm late for Webzine99. DAMN!
Anywho, we're gonna have a big TABLE at Webzine99, with Pigdog Journal all set up so you can read it there, and fliers and stickers and crazy Pigdoggers that you can get your picture taken with. It'll be real fun. There's also gonna be a live simulcast of these crazy TechnoState people, who are going to be pounding out big techno for your viewing pleasure. And the WryBread cam, which is like the link at the bottom here.
So, if you are a Pigdog fan, come show us your love at the Webzine99. It will be the fun stuff! Or look at the cam if you can't make it! Like I care!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
