Build Date: Tue May 12 23:30:05 2026 UTC
We like boobies
-- Johnnie Royale
Webzine99 going on NOW!
1999-07-24 12:25:57
Hey, check out the crazy action at Webzine99! Home away from home for Pigdog Journal and dozens of other Webzines for one day only!
Well, sure, I've been hyping this crazy Webzine99 thinger for a few weeks now. I think it's the cat's meow. And right NOW we are at the Webzine99 ground zero of fun! Can you believe it?
OK, well, actually that's a lie. I'm actually sitting at my computer at home, getting READY to go to Webzine99. I should have got ready last night, but instead I went to Albany and got REAL DRUNK on call cocktails at Club Mallard with Zacho, Special Ed, and Wendy. I was supposed to be working on stuff for Webzine99 with Splicer, but instead I was drinking delicious martinis with Bombay Sapphire! Beaujolais!
As a brief aside, I highly recommend getting the Bombay Sapphire if you're feeling all fancy and want to start getting call drinks. See, if you call vodka, like say Ketel One, they don't pour you a whole lot of it because they gotta save some for all the other fancy people who call Ketel One. So they just give you a little blip of vodka: BLIP. But if you call GIN, you'll get LOTS of gin, because NOBODY LIKES GIN. So they don't care about conserving the gin, and, hell, they kinda want to get it out from behind the bar because it smells terrible, so they just go BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP dumping gin in your martini glass! Splashing it everywhere, even dumping it erotically on the scantily dressed cocktail waitresses! They are generous to a fault with GIN! So get that!
So anyways, I got real drunk on gin and then went over to Powerful P A U L's house at like 1AM. P A U L has a life-size cutout of Spock that we NEEDED for the Webzine99 thing, so we went and liberated Spock. P A U L was still up, because he was moving to his new house and shit, so we came in. The GREAT part was that he and his bad wife Distressa have a huge liquor cabinet that they didn't want to pack for their move. So we mixed lots of Drambuie with pickle juice from the nearly empty fridge, and drank that, and got really bad drunk, and I didn't get home till 4AM, and that's why I'm late for Webzine99. DAMN!
Anywho, we're gonna have a big TABLE at Webzine99, with Pigdog Journal all set up so you can read it there, and fliers and stickers and crazy Pigdoggers that you can get your picture taken with. It'll be real fun. There's also gonna be a live simulcast of these crazy TechnoState people, who are going to be pounding out big techno for your viewing pleasure. And the WryBread cam, which is like the link at the bottom here.
So, if you are a Pigdog fan, come show us your love at the Webzine99. It will be the fun stuff! Or look at the cam if you can't make it! Like I care!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
