Build Date: Tue Apr 23 06:20:04 2024 UTC
All great quotes should end with 'my ass'
-- Bubba Barnett
Webzine 98 Blah blah gar gar gar!
1998-11-11 15:23:00
OK, so, Cool Event of the Week is the Webzine 98 thingy. I'd think it was a horrible blech gar-gar-gar-fest, except the exceptional people at Unamerican Activities are sponsoring it. And they are so cool it makes my neck sweat.
I think it could be fun. We're gonna go. Someone I was talking to said she went to this last year and had acid-laced "Peeps" (Yeah, the little marshmallow Easter chickens). Personally, I think that's reason enough to go. I mean, dosed "Peeps"! That's _EVIL_!
But I also think it would be great publicity if the Pigdog crew got in a huge drunken fistfight with some group wimpier yet more famous than us. Like, say, Suck. I mean, there are 70s punk bands whose sole claim to fame is that they kicked the ass of the Clash outside some slimey London club.
Ratsnatcher thinks we should keel-haul Michael Kinsley from "Slate" behind a pickup truck, but something tells me he's not gonna be there. I don't like fighting, anyways. Maybe I can buy the Suck people some drinks and they'll agree to stage a fight and take a dive.
Anyways, I'm still holding out hopes that this is going to be real grassroots zine thingy and not a wannabe hipster corp-o-fest. But, I say, check it out.
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
