Build Date: Wed May 21 10:40:22 2025 UTC
This made me laugh so hard that gin came squirting out of my nose. Oddly enough, I was drinking lemonade at the time.
-- doctor obnox son of a bitch
Webzine 98 Blah blah gar gar gar!
1998-11-11 15:23:00
OK, so, Cool Event of the Week is the Webzine 98 thingy. I'd think it was a horrible blech gar-gar-gar-fest, except the exceptional people at Unamerican Activities are sponsoring it. And they are so cool it makes my neck sweat.
I think it could be fun. We're gonna go. Someone I was talking to said she went to this last year and had acid-laced "Peeps" (Yeah, the little marshmallow Easter chickens). Personally, I think that's reason enough to go. I mean, dosed "Peeps"! That's _EVIL_!
But I also think it would be great publicity if the Pigdog crew got in a huge drunken fistfight with some group wimpier yet more famous than us. Like, say, Suck. I mean, there are 70s punk bands whose sole claim to fame is that they kicked the ass of the Clash outside some slimey London club.
Ratsnatcher thinks we should keel-haul Michael Kinsley from "Slate" behind a pickup truck, but something tells me he's not gonna be there. I don't like fighting, anyways. Maybe I can buy the Suck people some drinks and they'll agree to stage a fight and take a dive.
Anyways, I'm still holding out hopes that this is going to be real grassroots zine thingy and not a wannabe hipster corp-o-fest. But, I say, check it out.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
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The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
