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Holiday Rice Cakes Kill Three
1999-01-05 23:09:00


Deadly Things
 
Three words: LITERALIST FUCKHEAD DONUTS. You've been eating too many and you have literalist fuckhead jelly all over your literalist fuckhead face.
-- Mr. Bad

 

Everyday the media bombards us with stories about the supposed dangers of drugs, tobacco and alcohol, all the while ignoring the real deadly killers-- falling vending machines, laser pointers, and sticky rice cakes!

Here it is, only January 5th, and already silent gooey "mochi" has claimed innocent three lives. Last year, 21 people died in Japan alone from choking on the harmless looking New Year's treats. How many more must follow them before the governments of the world come together to wage an all-out war against Murderous Deadly Rice Treats! Your child could be next...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

backdraft@pigdog.org


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