Pure and simple as a hammer to the forebrain

     
 

Top 10 ways...
2005-04-04 15:50:02


Deadly Things
 
It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
-- G.W. Bush, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

 

...to tell that the Pope is dead.

  1. Popemobile up on blocks in front of St. Marks.
  2. Pope hats suddenly missing from new boxes of Lucky Charms.
  3. Pope doesn't move when you poke him with a stick.
  4. Chevy Chase fans keep saying, "This just in: the Pope is still dead."
  5. Other Chevy Chase fans keep replying, "More on this story as it develops."
  6. TV news hasn't mentioned Michael Jackson trial in more than 24 hours.
  7. Cardinals now running attack ads on Vatican TV.
  8. Visitors to Vatican no longer hoping for glimpse of Pope in window - now hoping for glimpse of Pope in box, instead.
  9. Ringo now demanding next Pope be named for him and George.
  10. Price of Pope action figures on eBay has tripled.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

zuul@pigdog.org


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