Build Date: Fri Jul 4 18:40:21 2025 UTC
TV rots your brain.
-- Johnnie Royale
Jerk City's Slow Descent to Madness
2002-01-11 22:32:34
Lately, it seems that Jerk City has taken on a darker aspect. Oh, there's still plenty of boners, pricks, dongs, and dicks, but more often, there seems to be a decidedly homicidal undercurrent swelling in the daily Net comic.
Deuce confesses to a random kidnapping. Deuce fantasizes about raping Pants's abandoned corpse. Pants agonizes over his limited cadaver-storage capacity. These are but three examples of this trend, bizarre even by the standards of these self-described total losers Jesus.
Why the sudden bout of necrophilia for our otherwise puerile, and occasionally geeky, band of ayleens / beatniks / Tiki dolls / jellyfish-things? Possibly the site redesign, complete with a search function and handy indexes by date and title, has driven the authors to dark musings of murder most foul.
Or, perhaps, in these troubled times of international terror, the endless torrent of cock-sucking jokes seems somehow irrelevant. Older Jerk City postings harken back to a more carefree time in America -- a time of security, of family and faith, and of gallons upon spurting gallons of HGRURGHHUUGRG+++
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
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About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
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It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
