Build Date: Wed Sep 3 03:50:15 2025 UTC
My Finn side usually wins any arguments concerning alcohol.
-- Johnnie Royale
Bubble Boy No More!
2000-05-01 11:30:43
In 1976, the world knew nothing about severe combined immunodeficiency, boys in fish tanks, or even John Travolta. But one movie changed all that.
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble is a touching story of young Tod Lubitch (Travolta), a horny little boy teen confined to a big fish tank. Never knowing the touch of another human, except between sets, Young Lubitch must come to grips with his disease and himself. When he sees Gina Biggs in her underwear (played by the luscious Glyniss O'Connor) he realizes his libido is there for something more... something important. Through his trials and tribulations, young Lubitch learns an important lesson about teenage girls. Damned if I remember what that lesson was, but you can buy the damn thing for $6 if you're interested.
But now, in 2000, science has fucked up again. If Lubitch was born in this day and age, he'd just be another boy with a bad haircut. Never to have known the sweet attentions of Gina. Her maternal instinct would have drawn her to some other pathetic sap, and young Lubitch probably would have mowed down some classmates in a school shooting TV movie set to the tune of some crappy Marilyn Manson theme song. Not only that, but Travolta would have never made his debut and would still be whining in some Scientologist Star Chamber about how he almost made it big. Because, my little skippies, science has cured severe combined immunodeficiency.
And that is a sad and tragic thing, if you ask me. With Bubble Boy 2: Hot Teens in Plastic just on the horizon, too. Dammit.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my! (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
