Me No Fear The Reaper

by Tjames Madison

2000-03-28 01:06:12

Cyberbillies

It's like skunkbait for Massively Cool Dudes with Awesome Mini Trucks and way bitchin' mullets, an instant portal into the pinhead dimension and an easy mark for "Calvin Pissing on..." sticker collecters. It, like, totally, like, sums up the total, like, way you approach your life: NO FEAR, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!

And I can't tell what's dumber, the guy who slaps that phrase on his chest or his ass or the rear window of his ridiculous truck, or the dumbass on the witness stand here who embraces the whole "No Fear" culture with such vigor and zest that he simply cannot contain himself from sitting down and pinching off his cruel loaf of a website to inform and update others about goings-on in the growing-by-leaps-and-by-bounds worldwide "No Fear" fraternity.

Hey, it's bad enough that the anonymous asspipe who maintains this site considers a dorky, acne-ridden, wispy-mustachioed one-liner to not only be an entire philosophy, but apparently the only philosophy, but what to make of the countless other sad fucks who contribute to said shitpile, in the form of, among other things, a page full of "sayings":

- "Beat you fears with a big nasty stick!" - "I feel a bruise on your horizen." - "No pads, no helmets, just Balls!" - "No crybabies!" - "No scrapes, No scares, No Proof!"

Hey NO FEAR assipes and babymen! Here's a slogan for your stupid trucks and your "ripped tees": I AM PIGDOG, AND I WILL RAGE LIKE THOR IN YOUR BUNGHOLE.

Now knock it the FUCK off, hesher!

Check it out yourself

kunst@pigdog.org