Build Date: Thu Nov 20 04:40:11 2025 UTC
Wine is but a single broth, ale is meat, drink and cloth.
-- Pigdog Proverb
Jethro Bodine is Shithouse Crazy
2000-01-20 20:15:20
Dear holy FUCKANAUTS! Max Baer, the big lughead who played JETHRO BODINE in the hit series "Beverly Hillbillies" is building him a GIGANTIC CASINO in the sick, bitter little dessicated city of Reno, Nevada. It's gonna be TOTALLY SIDEWAYS! With BLACKJACK and HILLBILLIES! Gah!
Everybody's heard about this screwball plan, but have you seen the Web site?! I have! It's nutty! It's the SINGLE WORST WEBSITE I've ever seen for a commercial venture. There's really bad clip art and Shockwave and just mindbendingly bad graphics everywhere. It's HORRIBLE. It looks like it was made by a GRIEVOUSLY INJURED RACCOON, and not a very bright one at that.
Which kinda fits hand-in-glove with the whole "Jethro's Casino" idea, anyways. Apparently Mr. Baer bought up all the merchandising rights to the Beverly Hillbillies name after the show went rightfully kaput in 1971. JUST LIKE his big dumb lughead character, Baer has been lugheadedly PLOTTING and SCHEMING for years to do something totally OVER THE TOP and INSANE. And it WORKED. He's gonna make a CASINO.
The Reno City Council has approved construction, which just goes to show what kind of geniuses they put on the council in Reno. They're going to put the thing in the middle of downtown Reno! Har! It should be in some gully somewhere, out of sight, but it'll take up most of downtown!
This Web site doesn't say if the construction is started or not, which could be because it's the WORLD'S SHITTIEST WEBSITE or it could be because this is the most fuckheaded idea ever to exist and nobody in their right mind would invest dollar one in it. I dunno.
But anyway, when (if) it IS built, this will be the most SIDEWAYS casino ever. I assure you of this! I've been to some pretty creepy and unpleasant casinos, and I assure you that Jethro's Casino will top them all. There will be a bakery called "Elly Mae's Buns"! There will be a GIGANTIC OIL WELL on FIRE out front! There will be a big-ass Beverly-Hills-style MANSION with critters and bucktoothed bellboys and the like. Crosseyed pit bosses! Showgirls in Dr. Denton's with the back flap open! A WHITE LIGHTNING bar! Dear LORD, this is going to be a horrible place.
Even though recent reports seem to indicate that the Jethro Casino is kind of struggling, I have faith in the bizarre, fucked-up Max Baer to make his dream come true. Hillbillies! Casino! Beaujolais!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
The Man is putting the hurting on San Francisco clubs, but some people are fighting back. Beajolais! Flesh interviews Leslie Ayers of the San Francisco Late Night Coalition. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
