Build Date: Sun Jul 12 15:10:07 2026 UTC
I would disarm the entire world, because it would be cool to see people have massive battles using only their teeth and nails. Those of us who floss regularly would soon rule the earth!
-- Mr. Bad
Would you people just stop making sites like these now, please?
1999-12-20 02:53:46
You know how Hamster Dance showed up one day, probably in your inbox with a note attached that said "DOOD U HAV GOT 2 CHEK THIS OUT!!!11"? And then you looked at it and felt nothing but pity and contempt for people who thought it was, like, really funny? And THEN, like 8 million dumbasses all over the world thought it would be even FUNNIER to replace "dancing hamster" with "dancing other thing," like Herve Villichaize, so now there are 8 MILLION DANCING WHATEVER PAGES ON THE WORLD WIDE SQUIRREL? Are you following me? OK. Those people have to stop what they're doing. Right now.
I thought I would check out the Yahoo directory for "humor>bizarre>dancing" and see if I could find a SINGLE REDEEMABLE DANCING FUCKHEAD SITE, and then I would write something about how they're all lame and shit, and YET, there is this one place and it almost makes it worth all the extra pain in general because ha ha.
But no. It is all full of suck. Stop making these sites now.
Here are some of the horrible, unfunny things I looked at; dancing:
Aliens, AOL CDs, Beatles, Clowns, Cows, Hovering Cows, Beanie Babies, Fat Kids, Frogs, Monkeys, Jesuses, Pigs, Santas, Satans, Sumo Wrestlers.
All of them were ultra-retarded. If you have one of these sites, especially the clown one, please take it down. I am asking this as a personal favor. Please make it go away. It is not funny. Also, the Dancing Baby is not funny. And if you ever send email to people saying "Go look at this crazy Dancing Hitler page!", please kill yourself immediately. Thank you for your cooperation.
PS - Calvin pissing graphics are also not funny at all. Please stop putting them on your mini-trucks or I will find you and hurt you.

T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)