Build Date: Thu Nov 27 23:30:06 2025 UTC
Taking powerful narcotics is very bad for your typing.
-- Thom Stark
Crazy African Bug Shoots Acid Out of It's Arse!!
1999-08-20 18:19:04
Hey, so this isn't news or anything, but this crazy bug called the African bombardier beetle shoots Burning Hot Acid out of it's ASS with sooper dooper accuracy!!
It has special butt jets that it uses to aim at it's enemies and when it shoots the acid out, it makes a big bang sound like a gun!! Woo! It's so accurate it could even hit its victim (like an ant) in the eyeballs if it wanted.
So, go look at the pictures because that's the best part...you can see the ass spray in action...up close and personal!
On a side note: I'm thinkin' I'd like to get me a few of these critters. I'll use them against my upstairs neighbor next time he pisses me off. See, he's an entomologist and he has all kinds of bad crazy bugs up in his nasty apartment.
He's a big freak and bothers me all the time...for being noisy and what not. Not that I am, but he's ultra sensitive because he has special spidy senses and never leaves his creepy crawly apartment except to climb up in our neighborhood trees to conduct experiments and collect new specimens.
More than once I have found unusual, horrible, bugs in MY apartment. For instance, one week I found THREE black widows in my room!!! I suspect that sometimes he releases the horrible little beasties into my apartment on PURPOSE! So, if I get myself some African butt shooting bugs, I could train them to defend my household from his attacks.
Just a thought.

T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
War on Terror produces excess inventory of doomsday ready laptops
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)