Build Date: Thu May 1 03:00:38 2025 UTC
I love pornography. One of my biggest fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to clean out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding onto for years.
-- Bill Hicks
British Man Dies in Freak Gardening Accident
1999-06-16 13:46:59
Usually when you hear someone died in a "freak gardening accident," it means they smoked crack until their eyeballs bled and then threw themselves in front of a bus. But this guy really did die in a freak gardening accident.
John Lewis, a British businessman, died a surreal death. Lewis, of Gloucester, was tending a bonfire to burn leaves in his garden by pouring gasoline on the pile when he accidentally set his clothes on fire. An alarmed, and flaming, Lewis then made his way to the river near his house in an attempt to put the fire out.
Lewis apparently then drowned, and his body was found a mile and a half upstream, where investigators began piecing together the weird chain of events.
To add insult to injury, Lewis' body was found naked except for his shoes and socks; the rest apparently burnt off as he was making a beeline for the river.
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