Build Date: Thu Apr 3 01:20:08 2025 UTC
If everyone jumped off the Empire State building, it wouldn't hurt after a while.
-- Abby
Big Fat Man Falls Out of Roller Coaster
1999-06-09 13:49:56
Although this story is a few weeks old, it was ignored completely by the mainstream media. Why is the media turning a blind eye to the dangers faced by big fat men on roller coasters?
This big fat man, Michael Dwaileeae, 37, of Orleans, NY, was riding the new "Superman: Ride of Steel" roller coaster at the Six Flags Darien Lake amusement park in Darien Center, NY, when he was buffeted by powerful vertical G-forces and propelled into the air on the last bunny hop leading to the station. Eyewitnesses say the big fat man fell some 15 feet through the air and landed on the ground below the coaster, where he was attended to by paramedics, who rushed him to a nearby hospital.
Incredibly, even though this new-style "hypercoaster" is capable of reaching speeds of more than 70 mph and has an ultimate height of more than 200 feet, the big fat man, Dwaileeae, received only minor injuries.
Park officials immediately closed the ride and began work on installing new lap bars to prevent the danger to future big fat riders of "Superman: Ride of Steel." The ride recently reopened, and has so far had no additional problems with big fat people falling out of it.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
War on Terror produces excess inventory of doomsday ready laptops
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population. (More...)
