Big Fat Man Falls Out of Roller Coaster

1999-06-09 13:49:56

Although this story is a few weeks old, it was ignored completely by the mainstream media. Why is the media turning a blind eye to the dangers faced by big fat men on roller coasters?

This big fat man, Michael Dwaileeae, 37, of Orleans, NY, was riding the new "Superman: Ride of Steel" roller coaster at the Six Flags Darien Lake amusement park in Darien Center, NY, when he was buffeted by powerful vertical G-forces and propelled into the air on the last bunny hop leading to the station. Eyewitnesses say the big fat man fell some 15 feet through the air and landed on the ground below the coaster, where he was attended to by paramedics, who rushed him to a nearby hospital.

Incredibly, even though this new-style "hypercoaster" is capable of reaching speeds of more than 70 mph and has an ultimate height of more than 200 feet, the big fat man, Dwaileeae, received only minor injuries.

Park officials immediately closed the ride and began work on installing new lap bars to prevent the danger to future big fat riders of "Superman: Ride of Steel." The ride recently reopened, and has so far had no additional problems with big fat people falling out of it.

Check it out yourself

Over. End of Story. Go home now.

nvious@pigdog.org

T O P S T O R I E S

Net Flotsam

California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds

by Baron Earl

A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)

Police State Chronicles

Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl

by Baron Earl

Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)

Virus in America

Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die

by Baron Earl

The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)

-tarded

Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff

by Baron Earl

"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)

Billionaire Assholes

Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots

by Baron Earl

Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)

Special Ideas

The Future Ain't What It Used To Be

by Flesh

Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)

Benevolent Order of Nebraskans for Erection Reversal: Keep It Limp for Life (B.O.N.E.R. K.I.L.L.)!

C L A S S I C P I G D O G

Treachery

The Liquidation of Hobo Junction

by Pao Tzu

Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)

Pigdog in Cambodia

Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue

by Oliver Green

This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)