Build Date: Fri Mar 7 03:10:30 2025 UTC
Beaujolais, baby!
-- Ratsnatcher
Howdy Doody in Huge Paternity Suit
2000-05-06 09:40:52
Most readers of the PDJ are probably too young to have viewed the original Howdy Doody show... including this author. But like the Mickey Mouse Club, The Howdy Doody show defined a generation. And these bozos are arguing about who owns Howdy - who isn't working much these days. But, since he is a piece of Americana, an and ex-TV star, apparently he is worth something. I don't get it, but then I don't get most things. Still, money is money and Howdy = $$$, and since this is America, everyone and their brother is bringing in their legal goon squads.
So what relevance to Howdy have to you dear reader? Whatz the deal? See, the 50's were a time of massive US feel good and cheesy was in. And the Howdy Doody show was cheesy... it defines cheesy (just look up cheesy in dictionary, odds are there will be a picture of Howdy). So why it is cheesy relevant to you? See, it forms bases for most of the decision processes of the Baby Boom generation, yeah you know, the suits that are running the joint. They were the first generation raised on TV and they were programmed to response favorably to a puppet on a string - which is probably why they treat you that way.
So, all you Gen-Xers need to remember that when you're going for that multi-million dollar round of VC funding and the guy across the table is wearing a suit and has gray hair... if he has hair, grew up watching Howdy Doody do dumbass things and his head is full of cheese... American Cheese... ugh and he in gonna play you like a marionette if he can. I hate American Cheese. Makes me want to scrape my tongue. And I not to big on puppets, tho' I do like muppets... go figure.
Meanwhile, the Howdy in question lies imprisoned in a safe deposit box while attorneys in $2000 Armani suits argue who own what in front of a judge with their billing metering spinning at $500/hr. You can bet the lawyers will be the only ones making any money off of this deal.
Sickening really... and old Johnny Royale is ready to step in and solve their problem for a measly $1000 - flat rate. See, I got the wisdom of King Solomon... and a chainsaw.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
