Build Date: Mon Oct 13 23:40:14 2025 UTC
Mississippi should teach their high school kids not to get in cars piloted by huge, sweaty, satan-worshipping freaks on mescaline.
-- Ratsnatcher
So Close... and Yet...
2000-03-21 14:52:56
So this guy in jail on a murder rap managed to SAW his way out of his jail cell. OK, no big deal you say. But he did it using DENTAL FLOSS coated in TOOTHPASTE!
This guy must be BRILLIANT to pull this off! Well, no. Turns out he did it in order to murder a prison rival. Not to escape, not to take hostages and demand an improvement in prison conditions -- but to off some punk that looked at him funny.
He wasn't even in for life-- only 15 years. Now they're gonna lock him in a small metal box for the rest of his life. And I bet he can forget ever getting another piece of popcorn out from between his teeth... the man will probably never see another implement of dental hygiene in his life. Ewww....
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
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