Build Date: Fri Jun 13 10:50:17 2025 UTC
It's not an adult feature unless, at the end, someone's gooey. Arcing ropes of jism hitting chins-- that is an adult feature.
-- Bill Hicks
Thus Spake Zarathustra!
2000-01-23 16:33:47
Check it out! The definitive Web site for traditional Zoroastrianists! With lots of crazy Zoroastrian parables and long treatises on various aspects of Zoroastrianism! Can you BEAT THAT, motherfucker? I thought not.
Zoroastrianism is TOTALLY COOL. OK, actually, I don't know SHIT about Zoroastrianism, but, HEY, I still think it's cool. And fundamentalist "traditional" Zoroastrianism is by any account several points cooler.
I don't usually make a point of picking on persons of faith, and Zoroastrians aren't going to be the first. Zoroastrianism is bitchen, anyways! They have big FIRE ceremonies, for one thing. AND they have a big Persian guy with a GIGANTIC BEARD as their big leader d00d. That's cool, too! He has a great hat! And no one can deny that they have the best soundtrack of any religion ever! Dun... dun... dun... DUN-DUN! It puts the fear of Ahura-Mazda in your BONES, man.
If you can find a better Web site for TRADITIONAL ZOROASTRIANISM than this one, I will eat my cyberbilly hat, goggles and all. And don't give me www.zoroaster.com, because that's just a punk-ass parked domain. Who needs it! That's what I say to zoroaster.com. Screw that stuff.
Zoroastrianism may be the last religion in the dictionary, but they're FIRST with me! Go check out this crazy TRADITIONAL ZOROASTRIANISM site right now! And tell 'em Mr. Bad sent you! They'll LOVE THAT.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
