Build Date: Mon Aug 17 14:00:13 2026 UTC
Never trust a man in a blue trenchcoat; never drive a car when you're dead.
-- Tom Waits
Why England is Dying, Chapter 309
1999-08-21 02:17:28
Check out the BIG NEWS: some stupid flouncy British pop star is getting married to some other stupid poncy British celebrity. Again. And once again, the BBC have decided this is front page news.
I don't know who these people are. Some lame radio DJ and some guy called Fatboy Slim. I'm sure someone can tell me why Fatboy Slim is real important, but I don't care. I'm sick of these retarded British weddings.
The British Parliament will probably issue a proclamation tomorrow about this, and then some woozy old gaffer will get up and start singing a pop song. And the BBC will interview this absurd couple and ask them about relief operations in Bosnia, and then one by one, all the Spice Girls will appear on the horizon, driving tanks, and shooting flamethrowers at pensioners and sick people.
Wow. Some ponce is marrying some asswipe. Let's have a big party and laugh at the poor.
Poor, dodgy, retarded England.
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