Build Date: Fri Dec 5 01:10:04 2025 UTC
I NEED TO CALM DOWN NOW, AND TO MAKE A PLAN. YES. I NEED TO SIT DOWN, AND TO MAKE A PLAN. NOW.
-- Head Freezin' Gene
Canadistas Talk SMACK!!
1998-12-30 10:43:00
Our team of sooper seekret reconnaissance agents here at the Pigdog Sooper Seekret Canadia Reconnaissance Team have discovered the main cell of the Canadista uprising! The smarmy Canucks have even gone so far as to leave their plans up for public view, and we bring you this information in the hopes that it may save red-blooded American lives!
Note the map of the rezoned United States, where they plan to replace our all-American states with limey PROVINCES! No doubt they plan to storm in with their hooch-powered mechagojiras (as built by Red Greene) and take the country in its sleep! Don't become lulled into complacency about the Canadia threat! Act now! Write to your congressperson!
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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Report from Spiritual Machines
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The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
