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Allons-y! Let's go to Mars!
2001-05-28 15:17:16


Canadia Sucks
 
I always use the Ed Asner test for my personal beliefs. That is, if I accidentally agree with Ed Asner, I go back and check my math.
-- S. Dallas, Esq.

 

For the past decade, we have pined for the Red Planet. But we lack the necessary Cold War impetus to drive us there. Our Capitalistic state now considers the cost to be far too egregious, but another totalitarian socialist regime has seen fit to plan a mission to Mars -- Canadia!

The Red Planet may be soon sporting a maple leaf, if the dastardly Canucks have their way. A Canadista colonization ship may well be on its way to the fourth rock from the sun by the time you read this message!

What does this mean for good, honest, hard-working, red-blooded Americans? Well, once established as a Canuck colony, Mars will be an enforced French/English zone. NASA will have to spend kerbillions of dollars re-fitting its equipment with bilingual labels and manuals. The expense is staggering!

The trip itself will be done on the cheap, costing roughly US$50,000 overall ($500 million Canadian).

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

jared@pigdog.org


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