Frankly, I just wanted to use that headline for something.
I didn't have anything to go with it, so I looked around
and found this story about Bryan Adams, the kind of story
that makes you think, "Ick, Bryan Adams!" So now I can use
Also I get to piss off Canadians some more by using that headling and writing
about Bryan Adams. Canadians love Bryan Adams, you see. He is their Cliff
Richard, and you just can't tell them they are wrong and stupid for living Bryan
Adams, even if they are. It is like if we here in America all got up one day
and told the world, "Jim Nabors is our Great National Treasure! No one is a
great a singer as Jim Nabors, so fuck off Italy and Spain and all those places
with one or more of the Three Tenors! Jim Nabors kicks your BUTT!"
Ah, how dumb we would be. Ergo, Jim Nabors = Bryan Adams, except for exactly
real to Canadia. See?!? Would you take any smack from a country like that? I
don't think so. Real countries have real heroes. Like we have Mario Andretti.
And Austria has Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Jamaica has those bobsled guys.
Canadia has Bryan Adams, because that is the sort of chumps that they are up
Oh, so the story that the headline goes with! Some venture capitalist in
Vancouver got married, and for the entertainment for the wedding, he had Bryan
Adams "flown in from London" to play "music." Like Bryan Adams is really just
sitting around waiting to be "flown in from London." Right. I bet he was
working at a volunteer car wash in Saskatoon when the call came, and just SAID
he was in London. And there's a big story about in the Vancouver Sun, because
Canadians are desperate people.
I bet if Howie Mandel told jokes at some American guy's wedding, it wouldn't be
in any real newspapers. Maybe some kind of giveaway shopper's sheet, but we
aren't that kind of people, really.