Oversexed Canadian schoolchildren are complaining about
subliminal images in their Coke machine. An "education
reporter" from the Vancouver Sun was dispatched to the
scene. Reporting from ground-zero in this battle
against sex-promoting beverage ads, she found students
staring at the innocuous red-and-white front glass saying
they saw busty women.
One student accused the Coca-Cola company of programming them to associate the
soft drink with sex -- calling the tactic "a sad reflection on Coke." The paper
ran a picture of concerned students staring at the front of their coke machine,
and tracked down Coke's Vice President of Public Affairs in Toronto demanding
an explanation. School administrators, apparently worried that Pepsi may start
passing out copies of Hustler in Montreal, are asking Coke to replace the
advertising on the machines with pictures of Coke that are less
It's a harsh lesson for the Canadians, who have already surrendered their
school's hallways to advertising, and are now haggling about the content.
Neither Canadian school administrators, nor Canadian journalists, want to
confront their darkest unspoken fear: that this isn't a crusade against
sex-positive advertising moguls, but a pointless witch hunt overlooking their
original cowardly surrender to corporate advertisers.
Vancouver is apparently already a hotbed of teen sexuality and sex-positive
media. "Most of us have seen more nudity than that in movies," a
14-year-old Canadian told the Vancouver Sun reporter. Remember that the next
time you see a photo captioned "students believe the ice on the can is a
large-breasted woman lying on her back." The real problem isn't the images;
it's the minds of students corrupted by the perverted culture in which they
live. Don't blame Coke. Blame Canada.