So, you should check out this little film, eh. It's all
about the history of Canadia! It's only about 20 seconds
long, eh, because Canadia has a dumb history!
It's really crazy! First off, this evil beaver head streaks across a Canadian
forest. And then a redheaded girl with pigtails appears for no good reason.
And then we see a moose, followed by a Mountie, and then the moose gives a BLOW
JOB to the mountie! I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS! This is probably like a tourism
department film or something. Then a polar bear appears and eats the viewer.
The reason I found this was I was searching for sites about Canadian Content
laws so I could make fun of the Nucks. And I found this site, which is really
for a multimedia company (the hoser equivalent of Purpledyne Multimedia, a
wholly-owned subsidiary of Pigdog Worldwide, Inc.) whose stated intent is to
produce CD-Roms with "Canadian content." Haw haw! No, really.
Their first release is "Anne of the Green Gables," which I didn't even KNOW was
a Canadian story! I am an ignorant American, trampling people all over the
world with my thuggish boots of cultural oppression!
Future releases may include "Henry, Le Petit Lumberjack," "The Bestest Hockey
Game Ever," and "Wobble: the Little Nuck Train That Thought It Could, With
Assistance from Her Majesty's Glorious Commonwealth."
I made all those up. But that FILM is totally REAL! It's sick! I can't
believe Canadians are REAL sometimes!
