Slashdot.org

     
 

Mysterious Special Ed Resurfaces Deep Within Jungle?
2003-06-12 07:00:16


Pigdog in Cambodia
 
Run with the RATS, get RABIES and DIE.
-- Mr. Bad

 

The world has held its breath since that fateful day last June when word came that a plane carrying world-renown Beverotologist Special Ed Ward had crashed in the South Pacific, miles from the nearest landmass, all occupants presumed dead.

But things took a strange twist today when Pigdog received the following images, sent ostensibly from an obsolete Xerox 7032/7033I Telecopier. They were accompanied by another image, not shown, which consisted of some weird scribbles and the words "Special Ed Lives" in what appeared to be yak blood or something similar.

When we tried to return a query about possibly speaking with Special Ed or his strange representatives, we were faxed back the following missive in a weird, spidery script:

Hey, man, you don't talk to Special Ed. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll, uh, well, you'll say hello to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you, and he won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say do you know that "if" is the middle word in life? "If" you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, "if" you can trust yourself when all men doubt you - I mean I'm no, I can't - I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's, he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas...

Pigdog will keep abreast of this story as it develops.

I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer.

There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms.

Kill them all!  Kill all the brutes!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

tunafish@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
by El Destino

No, Google Isn't Using Grand Theft Auto To Train Self-Driving Cars
by El Destino

Amazon's 'Dash' Button For Doritos Panned By Potheads
by El Destino

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

More Quickies...