Build Date: Tue Mar 5 13:10:08 2024 UTC

There must be better things I can spend my time rampantly masturbating or something.
-- Paul Vortex

Bring Out Your Damned!

by Reverend CyberSatan

2006-11-28 21:46:49

Watching the Republican retreat from the now undeniable failure that is Iraq's current pitiful condition is nothing short of a monumental disgrace to humanity. I'm not talking about "peace with honor," which was Nixon's shorthand for "Let's get the fuck out of here and keep our mouths shut." That his progeny don't even have the grace of Richard Nixon is difficult to imagine, seeing as how Nixon was an evil sack of shit whose soul will be receiving mail in hell long after our sun has gone nova. No. The modern breed of mean-spirited, venal cowards pipe up the rhetoric born of lowly insurance defense lawyers who have their eye on making partner by making assumption of responsibility seem like faux martyrdom.

Let's revisit the blueprint for democracy that was foisted upon the Iraqi people by their sponsor-in-freedom, Bush Enterprises, Ltd. First there was the arduous cobbling together of the Iraqi Governing Council by none other than Paul Bremer. That unwieldy behemoth was designed to fail by the sheer inefficiency of its gargantuan size and the hopeless infighting of its purportedly representational composition. The IGC was sold to Iraq and the world as an egalitarian mini-congress that would safeguard the country's best interests while providing vital experience in free governmental operation to those who served on the IGC. In reality, it allowed the Shia to switch out secular law for Islamic law in exchange for implementing other heinous demands of the Bush Administration, like suppressing media critical of its actions. Votes were seldom unanimous about anything, including what to eat for lunch, and it was clear from the incept that the presence of Sunnis and Kurds and "others" was merely token in nature. The IGC was a sham created by a sham.

In close temporal proximity was the purge of all Sunnis from any governmental, military, or police positions. Brilliant. Anyone who doesn't understand that desperation breeds violent and virulent rebellion should immediately be disqualified from public service of any kind. Including the appointees of an administration. Like Don Rumsfeld, for example. Rummy was the chief instigator of this disastrous policy. His rationale was steeped in the need to have absolute control over a situation by disenfranchising any opposition that could stand in his way. Rumsfeld similarly purged the CIA of career operatives who did not agree with the new mentality of the Defense Department. In the end, both administrative blood lettings destabilized the grip of those responsible for them. Iraq disintegrated into civil war and Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the House. Go figure.

Just to make sure the whole venture was an utter and unequivocal failure, the U.S. insisted on taking the lead in training Iraq's new police and military forces in fighting a type of war that the U.S. itself obviously does not understand. The results have been spectacular, too. Death squads are rampant among police ranks, and the national security forces regularly kidnap, bomb, shoot, extort, and murder innocent civilians with impunity. This is a great achievement for President Bush and his cronies, who can only wish that the same result was possible in America to keep the dissenters from becoming any kind of serious threat to president's vision for our future. Meanwhile, the new cops and soldiers of the fledgling Iraqi republic are incredibly adept at provoking and promoting the very kind of behavior they were trained to suppress.

And finally, let us not forget the invaluable lessons in foreign relations that Bush, Rice, Rumsfeld, and Cheney have passed along to our newest, uh, "brothers" in arms. Alienation brings acquiesence and opportunity. When in doubt, mass troops at all borders. Revoke diplomatic privileges of any allies who raise concerns about your megalomaniacal conduct. Above all, there is no god but the One God--so kill anyone who disagrees.

With all of these vital lessons handed down to us by the very forefathers who considered it our manifest destiny to destabilize and exploit any region of the planet where we could possibly make a buck, one has to wonder just exactly what's with the chorus of blame blowing back onto the Iraqi people from Republicans who were proclaiming victory only six weeks ago. And four years ago. And three years ago. And two thousand American casualties ago. And two hundred thousand Iraqi casualties ago.

The modern Republican Party has never been particularly admirable at accepting responsibility for its various catastrophic failures. Instead, the problem is always with the other guy, girl, or camel jockey. "They misunderstood us." "They resisted our timetable." "The could not work adequately with our contractors and corporations." "They value only the rule of brutality and not the beauty of reason." Yeah. Right. All this from the same people who brought us "Dead or Alive," "With us or against us," and the ever-popular "Bring 'em on!"

So while the various Senators, Congressmen, think tank talking heads, pundits, oil barons, and military supply companies who sold us this lovely little exercise in Jeffersonian purism are now beating their own ignominious retreat against the values they profess to hold dear, let's remember that this pathetic, self-pitying drama is merely a hallmark of their own banal weaknesses. For every shovelful of shit they fling, ten more are turned back at them by those of us who have been watching and resisting them all along. No, the Iraqi people are not inherently incompetent, lazy, greedy, stupid, or murderous. They were damn well encouraged to be that way by the instigators of a false war who wanted nothing more than a strategic beachhead that would supply us with cheap oil for our slovenly, offensive, inane, and disgusting perversion of freedom. So step up, you god-fearing fuckwits. Hell's come calling and the list has all your names on it.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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