Ever feel like you're not getting the whole story?

     
 

Fuck This!
2006-10-02 20:16:34


Cackles of the Mad Reverend
 
Calling Pigdog a "Weblog" is like calling Charlie Manson a folk singer.
-- Patient Joab

 

It was all looking so good. The battle plan was another masterpiece, the minds out there just waiting to be manipulated towards another victory. Subtle pushes here, a few prods there, and voila!--another incompetent Democratic effort crushed on Election Day. Then came those damned teen tarts that serve as pages in Congress.

Who the hell let those fucking tramps in there? Hasn't it been apparent for decades that they are a threat to everyone around them? Those tight little asses in tailored trousers, just SCREAMING FOR A FAT COCK TO FUCK THEM INTO MANHOOD! The injustice! The humanity! The Viagra!

Proving that nearly anyone can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, Dennis Hastert has been prodded into action against the wanna-be pedophile from Florida, Rep. Mark Foley. Or at least the appearance of action, anyway. Following in the fine foosteps of other debacles like the Jack Abramoff affair, Hastert would like to sweep Foley's cock and emails under the elephant dung until after the coming mid-term election. But unlike a Republican hard-on, this case isn't going away in the next fifteen seconds.

Not up to speed on this one? No problem. I can help. Another upstanding Republican does something morally despicable and his bretheren run interference for him so that the party isn't damaged. Foley would have fucked several teenage boys in the mouth, throat, and ass all the live long day (or until the Cialis ran out), as his lurid emails to those same teens clearly demonstrate. These aren't disposable skanks from the easy side of town, either. They're the progeny of doctors, lawyers, stock brokers and other wonderful people who damn well deserve to have their tender twink sons cherry-popped by a pious pretender who's open to screwing anyone at any time under cover of Congressional authority. "I've never seen that dimpled Chad in my life, your honor."

Note to Hastert Team, from the Richard Nixon School of Political Fuck-Ups: the crime is nothing, the coverup is everything. Hastert knew months ago that Foley was trying to plow underage Congressional ass, but did nothing about it. And why should he? Bringing someone like this to justice would be totally out of character for Hastert's generation of Republicans. As would doing the right thing at any time. Hastert can be counted on as a reliable stooge when it comes to duping the American public into backing whatever corporate scam has filled the party's coffers. Apparently, he can't be counted on for a reasonable cover-up, either.

His loss is our gain, folks. The more that Americans see Republicans for what they truly are, the better our chances get at the polls. This one scandal pretty much rolls it all up into one disgusting and repugnant package. Not only was a noxious kiddie prod loose among the Republican ranks, his unctuous filth was allowed to freely continue his predatory ways by a party so bent on political domination that it gave tacit approval of his proposed child molestation. If this is the party of law and order, I'm Howard Cosell.

So rather than take a single Congressman and hang him to validate the new moral backbone of the party, Hastert and Co. have now purchased their tickets aboard the Ignominy Express for the one-way trip to Loserville. With only five weeks to go until voters hit the polls, this kind of shit is hard to wash off. If Democrats take this ammunition and go on the offensive, those wonderful little page boys may have just saved our national ass with their own hot little buns.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

guvnor@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

PIGDOG JOURNAL CHRISTMAS ESSAY CONTEST - 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION!
by Mr. Bad

Fear and Loathing on Planet Arkuat
by Arkuat

Fixer-Upper
by Lenny Tuberose

Top Ten Reasons Morrissey Canceled a Show
by Baron Earl

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

More Quickies...