Do you want some pie, boy? - Pigdog Journal

     
 

Dr. Flufflay, or "How I learned to stop worrying and love the Marina"
2001-05-12 11:35:07


Cackles of the Mad Reverend
 
Innocence is for suckers.
-- Tina the Troubled Teenager

 

The Good Reverend gives the lowdown on a recent laydown.

Recently, I've been cruising Craig's List and lurking on the "personals" boards. Things have been really anti-yuppie lately, so I felt compelled to share my own story.

I used to have a grudge against Marina girls, for all the usual reasons. Then I had a great encounter with one that changed my life.

She was tripping her brains out on too much X one night at 1015 Folsom. I knew this when she came over and started petting my velvet top, but she told me anyway. Normally, I wouldn't go for her type: vanilla, dishwater blonde, wearing the same black synthetic pants, black top, and short black boots as 90% of the girls on the #30 do every day. But I was drunk, she was ready, and that was that.

She took me back to her place on Fillmore, and refused to let me leave the next morning. The sex had been better than I'd expected (who knew?), but the generic Ikea decor of her place kinda scared me. I was struggling to get my pants on when she suggested we go to sushi for brunch. (Okay, so I'm a sucker for good fish.)

At Ace Wasabi's, she couldn't shut up about how much fun the previous night had been. I wondered how long it had been since she'd had a guy go down on her. After she paid the bill, she asked if I wanted to do some blow. You've just got to love non-stop girls.

Her coke was pretty decent and I was suddenly attracted to her again. Contrary to her morning blabbering, the coke seemed to chill her out just enough for me to be around. It wasn't long before we were back at her place with a fresh box of condoms.

Near the end of her eight ball, I began to get concerned about dehydration and went to get a drink from the fridge. Her roommate was in the kitchen, peeling an apple. "So you're the one behind all the noise. If it didn't sound like Jenn was having so much fun, I'd be mad at you for keeping me up all last night." Before I could respond, Jenn came in and offered me to her roomie, without so much as asking me if I'd mind.

And so marked the dawn of my existence as a "Marina guy". The girls don't mind my cyberpunk look, and I don't mind their cookie-cutter clone approach to life. The sex is plentiful, my room is pretty big, and they do more drugs than Timothy Leary at Hunter Thompson's 50th birthday party. The best part is that I get ferried around in a convertible Beemer while coifed white boys pull up next to us and wonder how a guy like me ever landed a babe like Jenn.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

xandria@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Eavesdropping on Geeks: Did Anyone Like 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi'?
by Lenny, Thom 'Starky' Stark, Geoffrey, Splicer, Baron, Destino

Henry Juszkiewicz Destroys Gibson Guitars
by Thom 'Starky' Stark

Does anyone care about being wrong about Appalachia?
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: Music to Protest By
by Flesh, Master Squid, Baron Earl, El Destino

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

More Quickies...