Build Date: Wed Nov 29 04:50:24 2023 UTC
Messing up a flamenco guitarist's performance is one of life's greatest pleasures.
-- Baron Earl
Rev. CyberSatan Allegedly Burns the Man
2007-08-30 16:15:06
Pigdog contributor Reverend CyberSatan, aka Paul Addis, was brought up on charges of arson for allegedly setting fire to The Man at Burning Man early Tuesday morning. The Man, which is basically a large pile of wood and other flammable material designed to be burned to the ground this coming Saturday night, caught fire in the early hours of Tuesday morning. When The Man is burned this coming Saturday night, it will mark the culmination of the week long festival. It will be art. It will be a party. However, if you burn it on a Tuesday, the powers-that-be call it arson.
When I got up Tuesday morning the first piece of e-mail I opened said "Someone just torched the man during the lunar eclipse." There were pictures, but at first I figured it was a hoax. Every year people threaten to burn the Man early. Every year someone tells their friends "I'm going to sneak over to the Man early in the week and set him on fire. Wouldn't that be cool?"
To which most people assure their drunken friend "No, that would not be cool."
But this year someone actually went and did it. Maybe someone decided that "radical self-expression" actually MEANS "radical self-expression." Or maybe they were just protesting against ritual and repetition. Or maybe someone just got tired of too many rules, rules about how loud you can be, rules against bringing your dog or other pets to the event, rules about what you can take pictures of while you're there, rules about what you can drive and how you can drive it, even rules for setting things on fire! Feel free to engage in radical self-expression, but please obey these 87 pages of guidelines and rules, OR ELSE!
I still can't figure out how you can count setting fire to a FIRE as "arson". If I was having a bonfire on the beach and I had all of my wood piled up, and then someone came by and set it on fire before I was ready, I'd be irritated. I'd consider the interloper a party-pooper and a killjoy, but I'd stop short of calling them an arsonist. I mean, get a grip already, IT'S A PILE OF WOOD THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SET ON FIRE. The person SET FIRE TO SOMETHING DESIGNED TO BE SET ON FIRE. That's not arson, but it IS radical self-expression.
There seem to be a lot of burners in the news saying "Waaa! Someone spoiled my party! I can't radically self-express now! Someone call the cops and protect my independent, free-spirited community's mindless rituals!" Some people experienced in the fine art of hyperbole have even called the fire-setter a "terrorist", which in today's political climate apparently means "anyone doing anything I don't like."
On the flip side, there were some people out there on Tuesday night, gathered around the Man, chanting "Let it burn. Let it burn."
Some people get it.
T O P S T O R I E S
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
How much force does it take to pull out nose hair?
Have you ever pulled out a nose hair and felt like part of your brain came with it? Have your eyes watered from the extreme pain? Did you wonder how much force it took? Would you pull out 50 more hairs afterwards, using precise measuring instruments, to determine the answer IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE? (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)