Build Date: Sat Dec 6 04:40:11 2025 UTC
Cunts are right up there with World Peace and 4.5 cubic liter normally aspirated V8 stockblock engines in my book.
-- Tjames
Rev. CyberSatan Allegedly Burns the Man
2007-08-30 16:15:06
Pigdog contributor Reverend CyberSatan, aka Paul Addis, was brought up on charges of arson for allegedly setting fire to The Man at Burning Man early Tuesday morning. The Man, which is basically a large pile of wood and other flammable material designed to be burned to the ground this coming Saturday night, caught fire in the early hours of Tuesday morning. When The Man is burned this coming Saturday night, it will mark the culmination of the week long festival. It will be art. It will be a party. However, if you burn it on a Tuesday, the powers-that-be call it arson.
When I got up Tuesday morning the first piece of e-mail I opened said "Someone just torched the man during the lunar eclipse." There were pictures, but at first I figured it was a hoax. Every year people threaten to burn the Man early. Every year someone tells their friends "I'm going to sneak over to the Man early in the week and set him on fire. Wouldn't that be cool?"
To which most people assure their drunken friend "No, that would not be cool."
But this year someone actually went and did it. Maybe someone decided that "radical self-expression" actually MEANS "radical self-expression." Or maybe they were just protesting against ritual and repetition. Or maybe someone just got tired of too many rules, rules about how loud you can be, rules against bringing your dog or other pets to the event, rules about what you can take pictures of while you're there, rules about what you can drive and how you can drive it, even rules for setting things on fire! Feel free to engage in radical self-expression, but please obey these 87 pages of guidelines and rules, OR ELSE!
I still can't figure out how you can count setting fire to a FIRE as "arson". If I was having a bonfire on the beach and I had all of my wood piled up, and then someone came by and set it on fire before I was ready, I'd be irritated. I'd consider the interloper a party-pooper and a killjoy, but I'd stop short of calling them an arsonist. I mean, get a grip already, IT'S A PILE OF WOOD THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SET ON FIRE. The person SET FIRE TO SOMETHING DESIGNED TO BE SET ON FIRE. That's not arson, but it IS radical self-expression.
There seem to be a lot of burners in the news saying "Waaa! Someone spoiled my party! I can't radically self-express now! Someone call the cops and protect my independent, free-spirited community's mindless rituals!" Some people experienced in the fine art of hyperbole have even called the fire-setter a "terrorist", which in today's political climate apparently means "anyone doing anything I don't like."
On the flip side, there were some people out there on Tuesday night, gathered around the Man, chanting "Let it burn. Let it burn."
Some people get it.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
