Build Date: Wed May 21 14:30:15 2025 UTC
I don't let cops and judges tell me what I ought to think democracy is.
-- Dashiell Hammett
Pigdog Content Refresh Bug
1999-09-28 03:26:48
You've probably been studying on why there has been so little content this month. And, like, why there aren't any crazy stories about skunks, or skunk-apes! Hits are way down, and everyone's all just sitting thar, staring at the screen, sick to death of hitting reload just to be rewarded with the same old crapola. What we need is new crapola, NEW CRAPOLA. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened...
Pigdog exploded. See, we went to the evil Burning Man festival (for a whole week) last month, where we burned out our insides with playa dust and skut liquor. We built a deranged hillbilly shack, put on overalls, and ran around acting like big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbillies! But not just any hillbillies, SCIENTIST HILLBILLIES. See. Because that's what they have in the future. The future of America is hillbillies with SCIENCE.
We whipped up big batches of our special HyperWhiskey(tm) poison, and SmartChaw(tm) chewin' tobacco, and told people who walked by our shack to imbibe and chomp. And they did! And so did we!!
We do this every year for some reason, which neither I, nor anyone else, has successfully been able to explain. So I'm not going to even try.
The important thing to note, however, is that the hangover lasts a SOLID MONTH -- in which time, we cannot do any writing whatsoever. This has been the case in the past, and it is proving to be so this year as well.
HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! If you believe that I got me a mule to sell you on the bridge that is in Brooklyn for which the Eskimos with refrigerators have no name. Harr!!!
Why not look at this nice photo gallery (courtesy Wendolonia) of our trip to Burning Man this year?
Alright den.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
