Build Date: Tue Oct 22 17:50:07 2024 UTC
I think that I'm no longer treading water, but being swept downstream.
-- Juggler Vain
Pigdog Content Refresh Bug
1999-09-28 03:26:48
You've probably been studying on why there has been so little content this month. And, like, why there aren't any crazy stories about skunks, or skunk-apes! Hits are way down, and everyone's all just sitting thar, staring at the screen, sick to death of hitting reload just to be rewarded with the same old crapola. What we need is new crapola, NEW CRAPOLA. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you what happened...
Pigdog exploded. See, we went to the evil Burning Man festival (for a whole week) last month, where we burned out our insides with playa dust and skut liquor. We built a deranged hillbilly shack, put on overalls, and ran around acting like big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbillies! But not just any hillbillies, SCIENTIST HILLBILLIES. See. Because that's what they have in the future. The future of America is hillbillies with SCIENCE.
We whipped up big batches of our special HyperWhiskey(tm) poison, and SmartChaw(tm) chewin' tobacco, and told people who walked by our shack to imbibe and chomp. And they did! And so did we!!
We do this every year for some reason, which neither I, nor anyone else, has successfully been able to explain. So I'm not going to even try.
The important thing to note, however, is that the hangover lasts a SOLID MONTH -- in which time, we cannot do any writing whatsoever. This has been the case in the past, and it is proving to be so this year as well.
HARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! If you believe that I got me a mule to sell you on the bridge that is in Brooklyn for which the Eskimos with refrigerators have no name. Harr!!!
Why not look at this nice photo gallery (courtesy Wendolonia) of our trip to Burning Man this year?
Alright den.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
