So, if you're a Burner and you got a complaint, it's your DUTY to let the people at the Burning Man Project KNOW about it!

I recently had this great revelation about Burning Man. It's a little known fact that the 5th thing on the list of What Burners Like (after Fire, Sex, Booze, and Drugs) is Complaining about Burning Man. I engage in this practice quite often, myself.

[LET ME QUICKLY ADD that there are few things in life that I love more than Burning Man. It is a great, great thing, and like I pointed out before, I'm really looking forward to this year's Burning Man 99 and many, many Burning Mans to come. So, don't get all mad that I'm a big Burning Man hater or something.]

So I was crabbing about some of the new rules for this year to one of my friends who works for the Project, and she gave me a REAL GOOD IDEA. She said, "If there is so much discontent, why aren't people contacting us? All they have to do is send email, pick up the phone, write us letters, it's not hard."

Well, DUH! You could have knocked me over with a HAMMER. Of course! If you've got PROBLEMS with the PROJECT, send a LETTER to the PROJECT. Dahoy! That makes perfect sense!

I mean, that's the only way that congressmen, TV networks and newspaper editors know what people like and dislike: letters from us, just regular people. That's how they know how to make decisions and stuff. So that's the idea! SEND LETTERS!

I mean, everybody I've talked to has at least some beef with Burning Man. Like these:

• There's too many people.
• Too many cops.
• The city is too crowded.
• There are too many rules.
• There's too much structure.
• It sucks not to be able to drive in camp.
• It sucks not to be able to have guns.
• It sucks not to be able to have tiki torches.
• No public showers this year.
• No public pools this year.
• No public water ANYTHING this year.
• No giving away free food or booze to the public this year.
• You have to get a "license" to bring in a large amount of water.
• You have to turn in your video camera to get "tagged."
• No hay bales in camps.
• No fires in camps.
• The tickets are too expensive.
• No ins and outs.
• No dogs allowed.
• No digging holes.
• No going to the hot springs.
• No driving out on the regular Black Rock Desert.
• No loud soundsystems.
• The rules treat you like you're an idiot.
• The Burning Man organization has no transparency to the greater Burning Man community.
• Few of the rules apply to "official" Burning Man personnel.
• Some Black Rock Rangers act like macho cops.
• There's too many first-year Black Rock Rangers.
• Some artists and theme camps get grants of cash; some do not.
• ...

There's lots more, obviously. Like I said, everybody's got a beef.

Of course, nothing here is worth not going to Burning Man for. Hell, BURNING MAN IS GREAT!

The thing is, if we don't TELL the Burning Man Organization, then they'll never KNOW that these are problems. At the very least, they need to have that data in order to make good decisions in the future. So what I'm saying is: if you've got a beef, SEND IN YOUR COMPLAINTS! They DON'T already know! Seriously! It's the ONLY WAY to make Burning Man better.

Here's some contact info I've got. If you know of better contact info, let me know. The only mail address I can find is the ticket sales address:

Burning Man
P.O. Box 420572
San Francisco, CA 94142-0572

The telephone number is:

415.TO.FLAME

The email address for complaints is:

Complaints: complaints@burningman.com

Send some complaints NOW, while you're thinking about it! Let the folks know what ticks you off! They need our input and our help. So, do it!

Check it out yourself

tablesalt@pigdog.org