I hate you non-smokers with all of my little black fucking heart, you obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little fucks, my biggest fear, if I quit smoking, is that I'll become one of you. -- Bill Hicks
So you've probably heard of Hell House before-- crazy
Assembly of God "haunted house" that shows the horrors and
absolutely inevitable consequences of sins. It's kinda like
"Reefer Madness" but with adultery, homosexuality,
abortion, and, now, taking out your classmates. But it also
kinda reminds me of all those old Republican politicians
who had to watch hours and hours of nasty, bad,
dirty pornography -- all in the name of decency.
After forking over $7, visitors get to see stuff like two men holding hands who
are then shown in the next room in coffins. Or women in hospital rooms, covered
in blood and screaming because they'd had an abortion. Good, clean, church-going
fun, don't ya know! This year Tim Ferguson, the guy behind Hell House (and one
sick fuck in my opinion), has added scenes from everybody's favorite made for
TV movie, "The Columbine Shooting."
I guess the religious right isn't having enough fun with pseudo-biology, so now
they're moving into pseudo-psychology! It makes perfect sense! See, if a kid
sees something bad in a movie or hears it in a song, that will make them do
bad things. But if they see it in a CHURCH, then they will be moved to do
good things. And if, somehow, the find out you're LYING and being gay
does not make God smite you down were you stand, well, they'll still trust you
that SHOOTING people is also a very bad thing.
