Pure and simple as a hammer to the forebrain

     
 

Hell House Scares the Fuck Out of Kids Yet Again
1999-10-22 12:23:49


Bad People
 
Why should ANYONE around here feel in awe of "Fight Club?" Fuck "Fight Club."
-- Mr. Bad

 

So you've probably heard of Hell House before-- crazy Assembly of God "haunted house" that shows the horrors and absolutely inevitable consequences of sins. It's kinda like "Reefer Madness" but with adultery, homosexuality, abortion, and, now, taking out your classmates. But it also kinda reminds me of all those old Republican politicians who had to watch hours and hours of nasty, bad, dirty pornography -- all in the name of decency.

After forking over $7, visitors get to see stuff like two men holding hands who are then shown in the next room in coffins. Or women in hospital rooms, covered in blood and screaming because they'd had an abortion. Good, clean, church-going fun, don't ya know! This year Tim Ferguson, the guy behind Hell House (and one sick fuck in my opinion), has added scenes from everybody's favorite made for TV movie, "The Columbine Shooting."

I guess the religious right isn't having enough fun with pseudo-biology, so now they're moving into pseudo-psychology! It makes perfect sense! See, if a kid sees something bad in a movie or hears it in a song, that will make them do bad things. But if they see it in a CHURCH, then they will be moved to do good things. And if, somehow, the find out you're LYING and being gay does not make God smite you down were you stand, well, they'll still trust you that SHOOTING people is also a very bad thing.

Duh.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

zuul@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

More Quickies...