GNUPG! You need to get some ENCRYPTION, BUB.

     
 

13-year-old Swindles New York!
1999-06-29 17:15:37


Bad People
 
Any magazine without double penetration is a waste of time.
-- Mr. Bad

 

HA ha! This crazy Honduran boy had everybody thinking his life was SOOOO REALLY HORRIBLE! When, in fact, it was only just kinda really horrible, now everybody wants him to give back his rollerblades and ice cream. Gee Wiz, those crazy third-world kids! What'll they think of next?

So, here's the scoop: 13-year-old Honduran boy shows up in a Miami dinner claiming to have walked and hitchhiked all the way from Honduras to find his long lost father in New York. Supposedly his whole family was wiped out in Hurricane Mitch and his father is his only hope! This nice folks at the dinner all chip in 109 bucks to buythe kid a bus ticket and off he goes to the big apple, where he becomes an overnight celebrity. He gets his photo taken with important people, he's in all the newspapers, he gets new clothes, rollerblades, and free food from cops, taxi drivers, and politicians. BUT IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT LIE!

Now everyone's feeling all hurt and used and stuff because, while they thought he was worthy of their love, attention, and gifts becuase of the HORRIBLE HARDSHIPS he had survived. It turns out ALL he's had to REALLY deal with is his father dying from AIDS, being shipped back and forth between realtives in Honduras and various parts of Florida (the article sorta mentions that his mother lives in the industrial town of Choloma, but has had nothing to do with raising "the boy," so you see, he's not really an orphan), and the fact that his grandmother plans to send him to reform school as soon as she gets him back. Oh, and the part of Honduras he lived in "was not seriously affected by the hurricane, which devastated much of the country." -- so you see, this boy is just a BAD SEED who tried to abuse the KINDNESS of strangers. POOR, POOR Mayor Rudolph Giuliani!! While he ever learn to TRUST a CHILD AGAIN?!

Oh, and the stuck the kid in some foster home until this all gets sorted out...in case you cared, at all, which you shouldn't cause they're all lying and just trying to get you to buy them food and stuff...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

vwbugger@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
by Flesh

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

More Quickies...