Ever feel like you're not getting the whole story?

     
 

13-year-old Swindles New York!
1999-06-29 17:15:37


Bad People
 
This I can promise you: bearded women lying on their backs and pulling their anuses open is as low as I go.
-- Mr. Bad

 

HA ha! This crazy Honduran boy had everybody thinking his life was SOOOO REALLY HORRIBLE! When, in fact, it was only just kinda really horrible, now everybody wants him to give back his rollerblades and ice cream. Gee Wiz, those crazy third-world kids! What'll they think of next?

So, here's the scoop: 13-year-old Honduran boy shows up in a Miami dinner claiming to have walked and hitchhiked all the way from Honduras to find his long lost father in New York. Supposedly his whole family was wiped out in Hurricane Mitch and his father is his only hope! This nice folks at the dinner all chip in 109 bucks to buythe kid a bus ticket and off he goes to the big apple, where he becomes an overnight celebrity. He gets his photo taken with important people, he's in all the newspapers, he gets new clothes, rollerblades, and free food from cops, taxi drivers, and politicians. BUT IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT LIE!

Now everyone's feeling all hurt and used and stuff because, while they thought he was worthy of their love, attention, and gifts becuase of the HORRIBLE HARDSHIPS he had survived. It turns out ALL he's had to REALLY deal with is his father dying from AIDS, being shipped back and forth between realtives in Honduras and various parts of Florida (the article sorta mentions that his mother lives in the industrial town of Choloma, but has had nothing to do with raising "the boy," so you see, he's not really an orphan), and the fact that his grandmother plans to send him to reform school as soon as she gets him back. Oh, and the part of Honduras he lived in "was not seriously affected by the hurricane, which devastated much of the country." -- so you see, this boy is just a BAD SEED who tried to abuse the KINDNESS of strangers. POOR, POOR Mayor Rudolph Giuliani!! While he ever learn to TRUST a CHILD AGAIN?!

Oh, and the stuck the kid in some foster home until this all gets sorted out...in case you cared, at all, which you shouldn't cause they're all lying and just trying to get you to buy them food and stuff...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

dunsmuir@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

GNUisance
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Interviewing the SETIguy
by Siduri

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
by Flesh

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

More Quickies...