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Free Paris!
2007-06-08 11:18:07


Bad People
 
It's my experience that it's better to blow the monkeys AFTER you give them a nice, warm enema.
-- Tjames Madison

 

Yeah, so Paris got out of jail free, and I for one hope she stays out. Cause I got no time for the haters. I celebrate Paris Hilton.

Sure, she's dumb. Sure, she's spoiled. Sure, she's not very pretty. So what? There are any number of dumb, ugly, spoiled guys in the world and they don't get reviled the way Paris does. There's a big helping of misogyny and double-standard in the Paris-hatred that goes on in the media. But she's enjoying the hell out of her life, and she does not give a fuck.

There are many people in this world who claim they don't give a fuck, but closer examination will reveal that these people in fact give at least one, and usually multiple, fucks. Really, it's usually the people who talk the loudest about not-giving-a-fuck who are actually the most desperate for approval. Those people are sad. Paris, on the other hand, sails through her trashy, slutty, overprivileged life with absolute unshakable confidence, and she doesn't have an insecure, guilty, self-hating bone in her body. This drives people crazy. They just can't stand that there's one girl in this world who gets whatever she wants, who lives in perfect self-indulgence, and is never punished for it. They hate hate hate Paris with all the power of their mean little, drab little, hardscrabble little souls, but they cannot touch her, because she is Paris Hilton and she does not give a fuck.

Oh Paris, I wish you all the drugs, alcohol, trashy sex and flashy clothes your trampy little heart desires. I wish you parties with famous people and high heels and no panties and late nights and big tacky diamonds and bottomless wells of champagne and endless lines of cocaine. I hope you never need to learn any better. I hope nothing ever harms you. I honor your joie-de-vivre, your unbridled hedonism, your unshakable love of your inimitable self. The only lesson you need to draw from any of this is that you should call your chauffeur when you're fucked up. That, honey, is what chauffeurs are for.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

vwbugger@pigdog.org


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