Spam Assassin - a mail filter to identify spam

     
 

Free Paris!
2007-06-08 11:18:07


Bad People
 
Personally, I wouldn't fly all the way to Dimension Q to save Hawkman's useless ass, but that's just me.
-- Mr. Bad

 

Yeah, so Paris got out of jail free, and I for one hope she stays out. Cause I got no time for the haters. I celebrate Paris Hilton.

Sure, she's dumb. Sure, she's spoiled. Sure, she's not very pretty. So what? There are any number of dumb, ugly, spoiled guys in the world and they don't get reviled the way Paris does. There's a big helping of misogyny and double-standard in the Paris-hatred that goes on in the media. But she's enjoying the hell out of her life, and she does not give a fuck.

There are many people in this world who claim they don't give a fuck, but closer examination will reveal that these people in fact give at least one, and usually multiple, fucks. Really, it's usually the people who talk the loudest about not-giving-a-fuck who are actually the most desperate for approval. Those people are sad. Paris, on the other hand, sails through her trashy, slutty, overprivileged life with absolute unshakable confidence, and she doesn't have an insecure, guilty, self-hating bone in her body. This drives people crazy. They just can't stand that there's one girl in this world who gets whatever she wants, who lives in perfect self-indulgence, and is never punished for it. They hate hate hate Paris with all the power of their mean little, drab little, hardscrabble little souls, but they cannot touch her, because she is Paris Hilton and she does not give a fuck.

Oh Paris, I wish you all the drugs, alcohol, trashy sex and flashy clothes your trampy little heart desires. I wish you parties with famous people and high heels and no panties and late nights and big tacky diamonds and bottomless wells of champagne and endless lines of cocaine. I hope you never need to learn any better. I hope nothing ever harms you. I honor your joie-de-vivre, your unbridled hedonism, your unshakable love of your inimitable self. The only lesson you need to draw from any of this is that you should call your chauffeur when you're fucked up. That, honey, is what chauffeurs are for.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

oarsman@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Interviewing the SETIguy
by Siduri

Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
by Flesh

GNUisance
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
by Mr. Bad

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

More Quickies...