Build Date: Fri Mar 29 01:20:03 2024 UTC
I pledge upon the altar of Spock eternal hostility against every form of tyrrany over the mind of man.
-- Tjames Madison
Yuppie Pig Tries To Buy Barbie on Internet
1998-11-14 01:15:00
Look at this fiend who's offering $10,000 to anyone who will get him a bride. She must have the following attributes: "very attractive, brunette or blonde. 24-34, 5'4"-6', 110-135 lbs." AKA: Skinny with big tits. He'll give money to someone who's pimping a woman out, but not to the woman herself...
Maj (maj@pigdog.org) also has some comments on this story:
The most interesting section of his web site is "What's wrong with me."
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
1) I bite my nails (working on it).
2) I want to help others sometimes -- even when they don't want my advice.
3) I could lose about 20 lbs to be in very good shape (Working on it. I was a stress eater).
4) I need to learn to relax more often.
5) I could always be a become a better listener.
To which Maj added these...
6) I tend to lash out violently when I don't get what I want immediately.
7) Crack habit (I'm working on that too).
8) I hate bathing.
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)