Build Date: Thu Sep 4 16:20:07 2025 UTC
I hear that Boris is cracking down on Russian hillbilly moonshine...
-- Ratsnatcher
Rock For Life
1999-03-22 16:35:00
There are some bad people out there, and I don't mean bad in a good way, who think their band will sell more records if it's featured on a web page with a picture of a fetus jamming on guitar.
In addition to their insightful political invectives (President Clinton: Do not mock God) -- well, wait a minute. Fuck correct grammar and forget that half-finished thought. _Do not mock God_? What's that about? Is that good advice for a leader of a nation? I mean, sure, it's probably not a great idea to taunt a being of vast power, but what the hell is that supposed to mean? That goes under "sage advice," along with "Don't tug on Superman's cape." I'll remember that for future reference. I'm sure it'll come in handy some day.
Okay, Okay, I'll get on with it.
This site invites you to boycott all pro-choice rock and rollers out there. As if I knew who any were. But even if I did, and even if I cared to support their cause, I'm sure I'd be turned away by the background image on this hideously designed Web site. It might be funny as a parody, but as a site trying to promote fetus-worship it just seems distasteful.
This site also features a list of pro-life and pro-choice (they call it pro-abortion like all the other rabid bastards that think that terminating a pregnancy is bad but that somehow killing grown-up people is OK) bands, so we can make informed listening choices. The list of pro-life bands is much longer than the list of pro-choice bands, but on closer inspection nine out of ten of the pro-choice bands are recognizable names, whereas out of 170 pro-life rock bands listed, I've only heard of three (MC Hammer, The Cranberries, and a name I didn't recognize, but who was formerly a member of 2 Live Crew--talk about a total "John Stamos' Brother" deal...) and there were multiple duplicates to pad the list.
Yuck.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
