Build Date: Wed Mar 19 00:00:08 2025 UTC
I no longer have a soul, having bartered it long ago for dashing good looks and a handful of super-powers.
-- Lenny Tuberose
Rock For Life
1999-03-22 16:35:00
There are some bad people out there, and I don't mean bad in a good way, who think their band will sell more records if it's featured on a web page with a picture of a fetus jamming on guitar.
In addition to their insightful political invectives (President Clinton: Do not mock God) -- well, wait a minute. Fuck correct grammar and forget that half-finished thought. _Do not mock God_? What's that about? Is that good advice for a leader of a nation? I mean, sure, it's probably not a great idea to taunt a being of vast power, but what the hell is that supposed to mean? That goes under "sage advice," along with "Don't tug on Superman's cape." I'll remember that for future reference. I'm sure it'll come in handy some day.
Okay, Okay, I'll get on with it.
This site invites you to boycott all pro-choice rock and rollers out there. As if I knew who any were. But even if I did, and even if I cared to support their cause, I'm sure I'd be turned away by the background image on this hideously designed Web site. It might be funny as a parody, but as a site trying to promote fetus-worship it just seems distasteful.
This site also features a list of pro-life and pro-choice (they call it pro-abortion like all the other rabid bastards that think that terminating a pregnancy is bad but that somehow killing grown-up people is OK) bands, so we can make informed listening choices. The list of pro-life bands is much longer than the list of pro-choice bands, but on closer inspection nine out of ten of the pro-choice bands are recognizable names, whereas out of 170 pro-life rock bands listed, I've only heard of three (MC Hammer, The Cranberries, and a name I didn't recognize, but who was formerly a member of 2 Live Crew--talk about a total "John Stamos' Brother" deal...) and there were multiple duplicates to pad the list.
Yuck.
T O P S T O R I E S
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The Once & Future King of Dust
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
