Build Date: Tue Mar 25 12:40:13 2025 UTC
I am against
R. U. Sirius. Did I say that already? Down with R. U. Sirius.
-- El Snatcher
John Rocker Gets a Standing Ovation
2000-03-15 09:37:39
This morning, before heading into work, I was watching Mornings on 2, a local TV news program. I was trying to get a traffic update before heading out onto the Bay Area's freeway system. While I'm watching, the TV talking heads report that John Rocker received a standing ovation when he returned to the pitching mound last night in Florida. What's more, NO ONE on the news team can figure out WHY.
In an interview with Sports Illustrated Magazine two months ago, Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker repeatedly made racist, homophobic, and xenophobic remarks. As a result, he's been reviled by the mainstream press and also received a 14 game suspension which will start at the beginning of the next season.
Back to Mornings on 2… After reporting that Rocker got a standing ovation, the "news team" starts speculating on just why it is that this happened. They speculate that the crowd is "anti-media" and they're showing their support for the underdog. They speculate that the crowd is applauding the public apology that Rocker made weeks after the original interview. They EVEN speculate that the crowd is full of free speech advocates, and they're showing their support for Rocker's first amendment rights.
I couldn't believe they could be so dense, so I got on-line and started checking other mainstream news sources. ALL OF THEM seem puzzled by the crowd's reaction. None seem to be able to figure it out.
ATTENTION OLD MEDIA: WAKE THE FUCK UP! THE CROWD IN THE BASEBALL PARK IN FLORIDA GAVE JOHN ROCKER A STANDING OVATION BECAUSE THEY AGREE WITH HIM! THE CROWD GAVE HIM A STANDING OVATION BECAUSE THEY'RE A BUNCH OF RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, XENOPHOBIC FUCKHEADS! PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES AND START REPORTING THE NEWS THAT'S GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
As hard as it is to admit, Intolerance is alive and well in the United States. Yesterday, in a baseball park in Florida, Intolerance received a standing ovation.
T O P S T O R I E S
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
