Build Date: Tue Sep 29 16:12:45 2026 UTC
God bless the drunks and the children, and the United States of America.
-- Mark Twain
Oh God Make It Stop!!
2000-02-28 13:35:25
Please! The pain! Oh no no! Not The Positive Press! I can't stand it, I'm just not strong enough! Ahh!! It's all around me- stories of "human strength, kindness, ingenuity and perseverance," inspirational messages and essays! essays! and-- oh it's so horrific! **Warning: sensitive people and those with weak hearts should not read any further.**
I don't know if I can even describe it. There are all these happy people saying-- ugh -- happy things. There ought t' be a law! Here was have this amazing thing called the Web, and these people are filling it up with threads like:
- "all things are possible"
- "That special place"
- "be positive and all the hurdles in the way will clear"
- "let trouble make you a better person "
Ahhhhhh! They must be stopped! And I'm just the person to do it! For every happy fact they post- I pledge to put up 5 articles on PDJ detailing mans on-going inhumanity to everything!
Murder! Injustice! Stupidity! That is what websites are made of!
Please send contributions to:
Keep the Internet Dark & Dirty c/o Negative Nancy PO BOX 666 Spock Mountain
T O P S T O R I E S
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America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
