Build Date: Wed Nov 19 03:50:08 2025 UTC
I would disarm the entire world, because it would be cool to see people have massive battles using only their teeth and nails. Those of us who floss regularly would soon rule the earth!
-- Mr. Bad
R.U. Sirius May Not Be Getting It, But Joe Gardiner Certainly Is
2000-02-01 20:17:15
People often ask "What type of material do you read when you aren't online?" It would be really easy to mention anything found in the literature section of the local bookstore or by obscure authors like Kenneth Patchen. But why bother? It's boring, and you'll get that same answer from hundreds of other people. Rather than that, wouldn't you rather read about something you won't find Barnes and Noble?
Before we turned the control of Ice Station One over to Pigdog's Liquor Pig, he hipped us to a fantastic magazine out of England called Bizarre. Each issue is filled with sex, drugs, rock & roll, corpses, mutilations, destruction, bad craziness, and more. Everything that you would expect to find on Pigdog, but in a handy, portable, magazine format!
Be for-warned: be aware of where you choose to read this periodical while in public, if in public at all. Reading material like this in places such as the food court at the mall may get you arrested, or worse.

T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)