Build Date: Tue Feb 11 22:00:09 2025 UTC
I have a ring of Jesus fire that guides my decisions.
-- Chief Elgin
Elephant Blood Donations Urgently Sought!
1999-08-25 20:21:49
Veterinarians at Lampang Elephant Hospital in Thailand are in urgent need of elephant blood, for anticipated transfusions needed for a foot amputation. Motola (age 38) stepped on a landmine near the Thailand-Myanamar border, shattering ten bones in a left feet. At the time the cow elephant was taking a break from her job with a logging operation. There is no indication that the accident was drug-related.
Motola will probably have her ass in a sling for the operation, to help avoid breaking sutures. Afterwards, she will be fitted with a prosthesis to help support her three ton frame.
The operation has been delayed until Saturday, to give the surgeons more time to prepare. The type of elephant blood needed was not available at press time; nor is it clear if African elephants are also eligible to donate.
Contact veterinarian Worakorn Jitlang at the Lampang Elephant Hospital for more information: Phone 011-66-2-945-7124-6; mailto:fae@loxinfo.co.th.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)