Build Date: Wed Sep 11 01:10:06 2024 UTC
It's sort of like Moore's law or something -- every new alpha-geek Linux distribution will have a logo that's twice as lame as the logo for the last alpha-geek distribution.
-- El Snatcher
Project GRIZZLY!
1999-08-17 13:13:21
Has anybody seen this film? It sounds completely CRAZY: this Canadian guy built this big robot suit so he could go out in the woods and FIGHT GRIZZLY BEARS! A FILM about a CANADIAN CYBERBILLY! It totally defies categorization!
So this guy, Troy Hurtubise, was out walking in the woods in 1984 when he was attacked by grizzly bears. He survived the attack, and then became obsessed with the idea of confronting bears, sort of because he wanted to know why they attacked him. So he spent the next several years of his life designing and building a huge metal suit that he could wear around the bears. A ROBOT suit! He got the idea from watching "Robocop"! The suit ended up costing about $150,000, and it's made out of titanium and includes a trigger-finger operated "blaster can" capable of spraying a huge dose of bear repellent up to 15 feet for seven seconds. He's had people shoot at him and biker gangs try to beat him up when he's wearing the suit, and the suit has survived all attacks.
For the past several years, he's been interacting with bears at close quarters, wearing his giant robot bear-fightin' suit, and "Project Grizzly" is the film about his adventures.
This guy is really crazy. He runs a scrap metal business when he's not fightin' bears, and he says all kinds of really cool Canadabilly folk wisdom stuff, like this: "I would like to be not a big Jacques Cousteau, just a little Jacques Cousteau. I would like to be able to go anywhere in the world I want with my research team and my suit, and be able to do research wherever I wanted."
Also, his hero is the Outlaw Josey Wales, and he talks about "gettin' mad-dog mean" all the time. Hell, this film is REQUIRED VIEWING for all Hillbilly Scientists!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
