You've got a flatbad scanner, you've got a cat. Once you run
out of old porno magazines to scan in, what are you going to
do? That's right. The cat.
At first glance, this site looks like some kind of insanely inhumane kind of
deal with pictures of cats all contorted and mewling and miserable, but then you
realize the Cat Scan Contest is just that: cats on flatbeds scanners! Nobody
gets hurt, everybody goes home happy and the cats just lose a little bit of
dignity. You gotta love technology.
So here's the deal: this guy has this site where you can (or could; the "first"
cat scan contest is finished, check the site for details on when the second will
begin) send in photos of your cat squashed against the scanner glass. It's a
really simple but hilarious idea; all the cats look really angry and sort of sad
that they're squashed up against the glass of a flatbed scanner. It's a really
good way to get back at cats for their haughty attitudes, I think. There are
millions of entries to look through, and the winner got a bunch of junk like
some software and whatnot.
Almost as funny as the actual pictures of the flat cats, though, is the
explanation of how the entries will be judged, including "Style: does the cat's
squashed hair make an interesting pattern?" and "Form: does the cat's squashed
body look like a pear, or a pile of dough?" There are also some hints for
making good squashed cat scans, like this one: "KEEP THE FUCKING LIGHT OUT OF
THE CAT'S EYES."
