Build Date: Wed May 21 16:00:26 2025 UTC
After the first glass [of absinthe] you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
-- Oscar Wilde
Another Day, Another Dead Guy in a Whale Tank Story
1999-07-07 00:46:42
I don't even have a little witty thing to say about this one. It's a dead naked guy found inside a killer whale tank. And it makes me sort of sad.
I mean, what if the guy just wanted to pet the whale? Lovingly, on the head, a friendly pat. And the whale rips his clothes off and slams him into the sides of the tank a few times and he's dead. Just like that. See, we DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT MUCH! Maybe he just drowned, and the whale was, like, really nice to him the whole time before he died. WE DON'T KNOW!
No one knows why the naked man was in the killer whale tank, except the naked man, and he's dead. Also, his body was found "draped over the back of the killer whale named Tillikum."
I'm all verklempt. Please talk amongst yourselves for a while.
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