Build Date: Tue Jun 2 02:00:08 2026 UTC
Subliminal messages inserted into Muzak may not work, but they've cranked them up at a couple of local stores in my area. I walk in the door and my head starts to buzz and my skin starts to crawl. Then again, maybe that's just my reaction to American consumer culture.
-- Baron Earl
Another Day, Another Dead Guy in a Whale Tank Story
1999-07-07 00:46:42
I don't even have a little witty thing to say about this one. It's a dead naked guy found inside a killer whale tank. And it makes me sort of sad.
I mean, what if the guy just wanted to pet the whale? Lovingly, on the head, a friendly pat. And the whale rips his clothes off and slams him into the sides of the tank a few times and he's dead. Just like that. See, we DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT MUCH! Maybe he just drowned, and the whale was, like, really nice to him the whole time before he died. WE DON'T KNOW!
No one knows why the naked man was in the killer whale tank, except the naked man, and he's dead. Also, his body was found "draped over the back of the killer whale named Tillikum."
I'm all verklempt. Please talk amongst yourselves for a while.
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