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Elephant Gang Stomps Villagers in Vietnam
1999-06-09 15:51:00


Animal Rampage
 
If I get drunk enough I will peel a skin strip from your arm, shoulder-to-wrist with an Oxo brand vegi peeler, and then crumple it up in a ball and wipe my ass with it.
-- Snatcher

 

A gang of eight rampaging elephants have killed five people in the Binh Thuan province of Vietnam. The ruthless creatures have been traveling from province to province, damaging crops, and stomping on helpless villagers who are unable to defend themselves against the four legged behemoths because of animal protection laws.

Some villagers have taken to building their homes in the trees to avoid being crushed to death as they eat their meager portions of rice.

There have been several proposals on how to deal with the situation, including building an elephant trap disguised as a comfy elephant habitat, and loading it with villagers as bait. However, the communist officials are preparing an all out military-style assault on the elephants in case they prove too rambunctious to trap.

International elephant monitoring groups, estimate that there are 200 - 400 elephants, roving in gangs around the countryside of Vietnam.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

ozzyluvr@pigdog.org


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